Anthony Venn-Brown

Daniel in the Lion's Den - Exodus Leader Comes Clean

2012-01-20T13:11:00.002+11:00

SYDNEY, Australia, Jan 20. Time, reality and commonsense continues to erode the credibility of long-held beliefs within some religious organisations that they possess a kind of sexual orientation magic wand, according to respected LGBT affairs commentator, Anthony Venn-Brown.

So convinced are they with the outcomes of their smoke and mirrors routine that a new category of ‘ex-gay’ has been established for those ‘successfully’ processed!

Venn-Brown said two key recent events have sent shock waves through the evangelical, ex-gay and gay Christian worlds.

In December 2011 Christian World Magazine named Alan Chambers, director of Exodus (the world’s largest ex-gay organisation), Daniel of the Year in recognition of his stand against homosexuality.

The unthinkable happened last week, when Chambers appeared on a panel along with three former ex-gay leaders at a gay Christian conference and admitted that no-one he knew had changed their sexual orientation.

Chambers told the Los Angeles Times in 2007 that “by no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete," adding that he was uncomfortable with the term 'ex-gay' as he didn’t believe he’d ever met one.

But his latest bombshell came during hot-off-the-press panel chit chat.

“The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation,” Chambers told the conference.

Venn-Brown, an ‘ex-gay’ “survivor” who has become a widely respected authority on the ;ex-gay’ movement, said Chambers’ comments only serve to accelerate the crumbling credibility of the ‘change is possible’ message preached for decades by groups like Exodus.

“It’s been a slow evolution over nearly four decades,” Venn-Brown said.

“There have been three main phases the ex-gay movement has evolved through. First it preached the supernatural miracle of gay to straight, then it went into a therapeutic model and the last phase has been to give people the option of celibacy or being in a heterosexual marriage; knowing there is always the potential to ‘fall’.” Venn-Brown said.

He said Chambers’ honest admission is what many had been hoping for, but it just wasn’t enough.

“We want groups like Exodus to either completely redefine themselves or cease to exist. But no one jumps overnight from anti-gay to gay affirming. It can take years,” Venn-Brown said.

“We have seen many ex-gay leaders both overseas and in Australia come out and some have apologized for their past involvement.”

The most recent figure to take this momentous step was John Smid, the former head of the ‘ex-gay’ residential program, ‘Love in Action’.

Venn-Brown said it had taken years for John to come to a place of honesty and admit publicly he was gay, even though in a straight marriage.

“I do feel that Alan Chambers is on a similar journey behind the scenes. He just can’t admit it publicly at the moment. Only time will tell”. Venn-Brown added.

“We wait for the day when Alan, like so many of us, no longer sees his same sex orientation as something evil, dysfunctional or unhealthy and begins to live authentically”.

“In the meantime though, sadly individuals, families and marriages will be harmed by the false hope these groups have proclaimed.”

“As any person involved in gay rights knows; some things are inevitable. The decline and eventual non-existence of these groups is one of those.”

The question is, what can we do to hasten the day?” Venn-Brown concluded.

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Anthony Venn-Brown

M: +61 (0)416 015 231

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ABOUT ANTHONY VENN-BROWN

Anthony Venn-Brown is a founder of Freedom 2 b[e], Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds and is currently director of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International. He is an educator, consultant and commentator on LGBT/faith issues and been a leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man is detailed in his autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning'... Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award.

Gays Linked to Lack of Revival

2012-01-15T17:54:00.006+11:00

Many Australians have been walking away from formal religion for some time. The Christian Research Association has found that attendance at traditional Uniting churches across Australia has declined by 30 per cent over the past ten years, while parishioner numbers at Catholic churches have dropped by 19 per cent. Anglican numbers are also dropping. “The steep decline in numbers across traditional churches is a trend that is likely to continue in coming years” says the President of the Christian Research Association, Philip Hughes, and that “this drop in numbers could mean that small, traditional churches will become a relic of the past”.

But a new study, released by Olive Tree Media, reveals the specific reasons why people will not return to church or non-believers even entertain the idea of embracing Christianity.

One thousand and ninety four (1,094) Australians were surveyed as a national representative sample and this was followed up with three focus groups of non-Christians (Gen Y, Gen X and Baby Boomers). When asked the question ‘To what extent does the church’s teaching on the following block or engage you’, respondents ticked boxes such as hypocrisy, judging others, the role of women, religious wars, suffering, issues around money and exclusivity.

Anti Gay Marriage Rally

Homosexuality comes in as the No.1 blocker at 69 per cent.

So the top blocker for a Christian revival is those who are non-heterosexual. Who would have thought we had that much influence. It’s not that the gay community that’s the blocker itself, it’s that people will not engage with Christianity or the church because they see it as being anti-gay and the message has clearly been friends, relatives and work colleagues are not welcome.

This is no great revelation to many of us. It’s been our experience.

Gays and lesbians have been thrown out of churches and others, knowing they would never be accepted as they are, left of their own accord. Some remain within the churches walls, settling for a compromised, repressed life in a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ culture.

All of these outcomes are unacceptable because of the negative impact these have on the individuals and that it’s incongruent with the true message of Jesus Christ, who proactively reached out to the marginalized and those rejected by the traditional religious leaders of His day.

Christians Protest at Pride March

Olive Tree Media research gives us an important insight into the Australian scene and confirms similar research in other countries. Earlier research by The Barna Group in the US revealed the same thing; Christian Churches are perceived as anti-gay and judgemental.

In 2007, “UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity” a book by David Kinnaman (president of The Barna Group) revealed that the churches attitudes about gays has created a negative image of the Christian faith among people ages 16-29. The vast majority of non-Christians (91%) said Christianity had an anti-gay image. Even 80% of active churchgoers agreed with the anti-gay label.

Some Christian pastors in Australia have attempted to downplay the significance of the recent Olive Tree Media research.

Pastor Mike Kwok from the Fellowship Baptist Church in Sydney told the Christian Post he does not believe the problem is so widespread or that it causes a division among churchgoers.

“While I'm unaware of anyone turning away from a church because of the church's position on homosexuality, it is only natural that someone who practices homosexuality will not come to our church because of our biblical position on the issue,” Kwok said.

Pastor Don Modarelli from the Northern Beaches Pentecostal Church in Sydney echoed similar thoughts to the Christian Post when he commented; "Although most conservative Baptist and Pentecostal churches stand strong behind the Old and New Testament prohibitions against homosexuality, you would find the topic is not one that often makes it to the pulpit since the goal of preaching is to win the lost,”

These comments make me wonder what universe these pastors are living in. They are obviously totally missing the point. Perception is reality. Let me put it to you plain and simple. THIS RESEARCH IS TELLING You THAT have a serious image problem!

Message to the Gay Community

The majority of Australians have heard the Christian anti-gay messages for decades. Every time there has been a push for equality opposition came from churches, denominations and Christian leaders. This began when individual states considered decriminalising homosexuality, continued through the introduction of anti-discrimination legislation up to the present day debate on marriage equality. The same old, tired relentless messages; gays are immoral, acceptance will destroy society as we know it and homosexuality is a ‘chosen lifestyle’.

The average Australian has probably not worked out yet is that these messages increasingly do not reflect the opinions of most Christians. They come from a very vocal group of old school, conservative groups and leaders. Like the leaders of the religious right in the US, they are a dying breed. The problem as I see it is that over the years the old guard gained a support base (now aging) and a media presence. Whenever the mainstream media wants a Christian opinion or to spice up a story in gay rights they turn to these people for their predictable anti-gay comment. For many Australians this is the only voice they have heard.

Replacing them though are gay affirming Christian leaders; many of whom I now class as personal friends, too numerous to mention here, including mega-church pastors and respected Christian leaders. The number of affirming churches and denominations has grown exponentially over the last three decades and expanded to eighty six different denominations across forty six countries. Australia can boast the world’s first mega-church Pentecostal pastor to publically welcome LGBT people into Bayside Church (a Christian City Church) when Pastor Rob Buckingham preached his ground-breaking sermon ‘Real Christianity is Accepting”. The congregation gave him a standing ovation. And who will forget the 100 Revs, a group of Australian ministers, led by Baptist pastor Mike Hercock, who signed an apology to the LGBT community for the way the Christian Church had treated them and marched in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade in 2008. Another world first. Goooooo Aussie.

As secular as Australian society may have become, I do believe that average Australian’s knows the message often preached of condemnation, judgement and exclusivity is incongruous with the message of Jesus Christ.

For Christians to turn the tide of this anti-gay perception, more and more will have to speak up and drown out the old conservative voices.

Change will happen from inside the city walls. Speak up.

Christians for Marriage Equality (www.christians4equality.com.au) have done just that. Silence is not acceptance and certainly not affirmation. This research is your wake up call.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~Bishop Desmond Tutu

When a person likens gays and lesbians to paedophiles, criminals and addicts

2012-01-12T11:50:00.000+11:00

Sometimes people from religious backgrounds will make the statement ‘the Bible says homosexuality is a sin’. This is actually a false statement as there is no chapter or verse for that quote we so often hear in either the Old or New Testaments. It is a belief or assumption based on an interpretation of several verses—six passages out of 31,240 verses actually. While you are looking in your concordance for the ‘verse’ ‘homosexuality is a sin’…..try and find the ‘verse’ often quoted ‘God helps those who help themselves’ as well….hehe.

It’s actually impossible for homosexuality to be a sin because we know from science that homosexuality is a sexual orientation (a foreign concept in biblical times) and like a heterosexual orientation is, in itself, amoral (not involving questions of right or wrong; without moral quality; neither moral nor immoral).

When the concept of orientation is brought into the discussion these people will then often suggest that others have orientations that are clearly sin and should not be acted on and resisted. They ask questions like, "Why do you believe it okay for you to act on your orientation. Couldn't others in society like.............make the same claim.?"

The list includes such things as:

Murderer - a criminal (a person guilty or convicted of a crime) who commits homicide; who performs the unlawful premeditated killing of another human being.
Adulterer - a person who has sexual intercourse with another married person or a partner other than the lawful spouse.
Thief - a person who steals another person's property, esp. by stealth and without using force or violence
Alcoholic - a person suffering from alcoholism (addicted to intoxicating drinks)Drug addict - a person who is addicted to a narcotic
Paedophile - a person who is sexually attracted to children (a criminal offence and abuse of power or a relationship)

Sexual orientation

There are a large number of people in Christian circles and beyond that think of sexual orientation only in terms of sexual activity. This is a very limited view and demonstrates ignorance of the growing scientific research in the area of sexuality and brain/hormonal activity and processing. Sexual orientation is much more profound than a sex act.

Depending on a person’s sexual orientation (homo, hetero or bi) sexual/relational expression comes out of their orientation. According to one’s own experience, sex can be meaningless, addictive, abusive, or the most profound act of love and intimacy two individuals can experience, whether they are of the same or opposite sex.

Sexual orientation is about.

Love
Intimacy
Affection
Partnering
Companionship

The examples in the first list are either a crime against society, another person, their property, abuse or an addiction that can destroy the individuals life.

As a gay man my same sex orientation is not a crime, does not take the life of another, break a promise I have made to my partner, abuse others and is not an addiction destroying my life etc.

Murders, abuse, addictions are tragic examples of damaged humanity or evil and are not determined by a person's sexual identity or orientation.

As mentioned, sexual orientation is essentially about love, intimacy, affection, partnering and companionship and these are some of the most fulfilling experiences we can have in life as human beings.

To deny gay and lesbian people these God created experiences is cruel and has no biblical precedent. But to liken our same sex orientation to things like murder, abuse or addiction is not only ignorant it is highly offensive.

Hate Begets Hate

2011-11-08T16:03:00.014+11:00

If there is a God, I hope that he casts you into the flames of hell for inciting such hatred, for judging people, and for claiming to speak for God. I hope you burn.
Well f*#k the bible and f*#k you. You are hate mongers, plain and simple.
Dear C*#t-Face... I hope you get hit by a moving truck.
You are a homophobic f#*k... you call us fruits and saying our lifestyle is wrong. You sir are a dirty c*#t! You don’t LOVE homosexuals. You are in the closet and this shit is a cover up. I’m glad you were raped!

The above comments appeared underneath Peter Madden’s (Christian Democratic Party Candidate) YouTube video ‘Heal our land”, when he called for Christians to attend a prayer meeting in Hyde Park on Mardi Gras parade day. More graphic comments were removed.

This kind of vile vitriol is spewed out every time a religious leader states their uneducated opinion about homosexuality, marriage equality or the LGBT community. But does it further our cause? It probably does nothing more than reinforce the existing stereotype in conservative Christian circles that gays and lesbians are an angry, militant bunch who have no respect for others opinions.

When a debate on marriage equality was planned for Tasmania in July, Jim Wallace from the Australian Christian Lobby and Australian Family Association spokeswoman Terri Kelleher withdrew, citing the amount of “gay hate” they had received as one of the reasons.

Gay rights champion, Rodney Croome, said he was disappointed about the withdrawal as he was “looking forward to an opportunity to reassure Jim Wallace, and Terri Kelleher that marriage equality advocates like myself want a mature and respectful public discussion about this issue."

Senate candidate for Family First, Wendy Francis, experienced verbal attacks when she made inappropriate comments about the children of same sex couples and was involved in a campaign to remove Adshel's safe sex posters featuring a male gay couple holding each other.

When British journalist Melanie Phillips suggested that “some gay people were in danger of turning into the new McCarthyites by demonising and attempting to silence all who disagreed with the gay rights agenda” she received similar treatment. Tweets suggested that she should be killed. ‘Someone just kill Melanie Phillips please”; “your homophobic rant equals that which comes out of a dog’s rectum. Kill yourself you ****”. She gave an example of an email of similar vein “people like you should be silenced as you insight (sic) bigotry and fear. Go and suck a tail pipe, get cancer, GET RAN OVER BY A TRAIN. I hope your ******* house burns down”.

Can you believe this! Death threats are not uncommon in these situations on both sides of the fence.

Democrat State Senator and Pentecostal pastor Ruben Diaz Sr. opposed gay marriage in New York and received numerous death threats in the mail. But New York Mayor, Michael Bloomberg championed marriage equality as a "fundamental civil right" also got the same treatment. Not from the gay community of course but from bigoted Christian fundamentalists.

So there are some crazy, unhinged, fruitcakes on the fringes of both communities. Of course these people do not represent the mainstream any more than the people who set fire to properties demonstrating against corporate greed represent those of us who would like to see more transparency and accountability in matters of finance. In fact they harm the cause.

What I find fascinating is that people who respond like this can’t see that they are no better than the people opposing them. It’s a battlefield. Both are hate-filled. It’s hypocritical and lacks integrity to label someone ‘a hater’ if you are using hate speech yourself. Hellooooooo…..look in the mirror.

We seem too quick to label any opinion that is not gay affirming or accepting as “hate speech”…..or label them “homophobic”.

We don’t like the dualistic approaches such as male/female yet often we promote a “you either hate us or accept us” ultimatum. But it isn’t that simple.

There is a continuum that societies and individuals move along concerning LGBT issues; consisting of seven different stages. For decades homosexuality was not accepted in Australian society. Did they all hate us? Some did but not all. Others were approving, some nonchalant and others uncomfortable about the topic.

The continuum works like this. On the left hand extreme we have hatred. On the right hand we have advocacy. In between we find another five stages such as dislike, discomfort, tolerance and acceptance. Some people who share a different opinion are not haters….and to label them as such reinforces their current opinion and holds up progress.

One of the major contributing factors to people moving along the continuum and becoming more, tolerant, accepting or pro-gay is that they have come to know gay and lesbian people or that a friend or family member has come out. This challenges their pre-conceived ideas, prejudices and stereotyping creating the possibility of a change in understanding and attitudes.

Of course it is not hard to understand the source of vitriol expressed by some in the gay community. Research shows that 40% of gay men and 25% of lesbians experience physical assault and 80% of men and 72% of women experience verbal abuse. The statistics are frightening.

Why have they been the targets of physical or verbal abuse? Not because of anything they have done but simply being who are. Add to this years of oppression, discrimination and rejection by friends, family and church and you are bound to have some very angry people, and when triggered, will project the hurt back on to those perceived to be the source of the suffering.

There are those within religious circles who desperately need to be educated about sexual orientation and gender identity, but possibly there are some within our community who need a good dose of therapy or training in communication skills.

So next time you feel like retaliating; think before you respond. As I’ve said in my article 15 things I've learnt about discussing homosexuality and Christianity “Winning is not the goal, communicating effectively is. To speak intelligently, rationally and graciously requires skill and patience”. To shoot of a quick angry response doesn’t require intelligence; emotion is the driving force.

There is a proverb I have found helpful to live by. “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. When wise people speak, they make knowledge attractive, but stupid people spout nonsense.”

Or as Martin Luther King Jnr. said, "Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

Back to the Madden video. I thought this simple comment was the most profound amongst the thousands.

“At first I laughed. I thought it was a joke. Then I cried a little inside”. jadey1928.

Thanks jadey 1928 (whoever you are) …..in 16 words you got to the heart of the matter.

Please leave your comments, thoughts and additional insights below.

Thanks.

Twitter: @gayambassador

Facebook: Anthony Venn-Brown - A Life of Unlearning

info@gayambassador.com

Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom 2 b[e], Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and this year was one of four finalists for the ACON Community Hero Award.

Time Magazine Cover Story 42 Years Ago Today: The Homosexual In America

2011-10-31T23:00:00.004+11:00

Time Magazine Cover Story 42 Years Ago Today:

The Homosexual In America

by David Badash on October 31, 2011

A controversial Time Magazine cover story, “The Homosexual In America,” dated 42 years ago today, (October 31, 1969,) stated that greater tolerance of homosexuals might lead to less of them, as society would become less strident about what constitutes manliness. The piece also asked, “Is there a homosexual conspiracy afoot to dominate the arts and other fields?,” and blamed homosexuality on “many emotionally disturbing experiences during the course of several years.”

“Though they still seem fairly bizarre to most Americans, homosexuals have never been so visible, vocal or closely scrutinized by research,” the article stated. “They throw public parties, frequent exclusively “gay” bars (70 in San Francisco alone), and figure sympathetically as the subjects of books, plays and films. Encouraged by the national climate of openness about sex of all kinds and the spirit of protest, male and female inverts have been organizing to claim civil rights for themselves as an aggrieved minority.”

"Their new militancy makes other citizens edgy, and it can be shrill. Hurling rocks and bottles and wielding a parking meter that had been wrenched out of the sidewalk, homosexuals rioted last summer in New York’s Greenwich Village after police closed one of the city’s 50 all-gay bars and clubs on an alleged liquor-law violation. Pressure from militant self-styled “homophiles” has forced political candidates’ views about homosexuality into recent election campaigns in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Homosexuals have picketed businesses, the White House and the Pentagon, demanding an end to job discrimination and the right to serve in the Army without a dishonorable discharge if their background is discovered."

"Inevitably, the homosexual life has attracted eager entrepreneurs. A firm in Great Neck, N.Y., runs a computer-dating service for homosexuals; San Francisco’s Adonis bookstore has some 360 different magazines on display that carry everything from lascivious photos of nude men to reports on the homophile movement and lovelorn advice by “Madame Soto-Voce.” Police and homosexuals agree that operating a gay bar is still an occupation that often appeals to Mafiosi. In New York City, sleazy movie houses along Broadway now match their traditional offerings of cheesecake with “beefcake.”

"A Louis Harris poll released last week reported that 63% of the nation consider homosexuals “harmful to American life,” and even the most tolerant parents nervously watch their children for real or imagined signs of homosexuality, breathing sighs of relief when their boy or girl finally begins dating the opposite sex."

"Most experts agree that a child will not become a homosexual unless he undergoes many emotionally disturbing experiences during the course of several years. A boy who likes dolls or engages in occasional homosexual experiments is not necessarily “queer”: such activities are often a normal part of growing up. On the other hand, a child who becomes preoccupied with such interests or is constantly ill at ease with the opposite sex obviously needs some form of psychiatric counseling. While only about one-third of confirmed adult inverts can be helped to change, therapists agree that a much larger number of “prehomosexual” children can be treated successfully."

LNP Fiona Simpson should come clean on ‘ex-gay’ issue

2011-10-28T17:45:00.012+11:00

The introduction of a bill in Queensland parliament to allow gay civil unions has brought to light some deep seated anti-gay views and the belief that homosexuals can change, still existing in the minds of some Australian politicians. It has been revealed that Queensland MP Fiona Simpson, made statements in 2002 that she knows ‘former’ homosexuals and promoted the efforts of sexual orientation change ministries such Exodus and Liberty ministries to help gay and lesbian people “grow into heterosexuality over time”.

Anthony Venn-Brown says this type of thinking and comments cause untold harm to individuals and have not only contributed to poor mental health outcomes in individuals, such as depression and suicide but also have torn Christian families apart. Venn-Brown is a former leader in the Assemblies of God and attended Australia’s first live in ‘ex-gay’ program in the early 1970’s. A chapter of his autobiography, 'A Life of Unlearning' describes the erroneous philosophies of the movement and the abuse he suffered for six months submitting to the methodologies promised to make him straight.

“When I began to resolve the perceived conflict between my Christian faith and my sexuality I commenced an online support group in 2000 for survivors of ‘ex-gay’ ministries, such as myself. It quickly grew to over 400 people and in the space of anonymity people began to open up about the damage these programs had on them. The stories were heart wrenching and fuelled a passion in me to do all I could to de-construct the ‘ex-gay’ myth here in Australia and end the terrible unnecessary suffering caused by ignorance in Christian circles about sexual orientation”, Venn-Brown said.

“The thing that concerns me the most about people making false claims that homosexuality can be cured is the impact this has on individuals and families. If you are in an anti-gay conservative Christian culture there is a dearth of ignorance about sexuality and enormous pressures to conform. When an individual is struggling to come to terms with their homosexuality these ill-informed beliefs increases the likelihood of mental health issues, depression and suicidality.

Also Christian parents are given ammunition and will say things like ‘see you can change, it’s a choice, you don’t have to be a homosexual’ and put enormous pressure on their gay children to convert. They may even throw them out of the house when they accept being gay and come out. I know too many examples where all of these things have tragically occurred.” Venn-Brown said.

“The most extreme cases I have come across, parents have paid for prostitutes to try and convert them, invested $,000’s flying them to the US for treatment or even beaten them. These have all occurred in Australian Christian households”, Venn-Brown added.

“Thank God these ministries are in decline in Australia, Christian churches no longer supporting them and our understanding of sexual orientation improved. Considering that Fiona Simpson’s comments were made in 2002 it is important for her to be honest and clarify her current beliefs. She appears reluctant to do that”, Venn-Brown concluded.

A recent media statement from Hillsong Church to the ABC backs up what Anthony Venn-Brown is saying about these programs, saying “it’s never been the church’s official position to support ‘ex-gay’ ministries” and “will not refer people to such programs”. And a more recent comment makes it even clearer. “Under Pastor Brian's leadership, it has been made clear to all the pastoral team that they are not to refer people to such programs.” a spokesperson said.

Media inquires

Anthony Venn-Brown

E: anthony@anthonyvennbrown.com

Twitter: @gayambassador

Why Christian spin on 'ex-gay' study divides families and creates harm

2011-10-12T18:44:00.020+11:00

A recent study “A longitudinal study of attempted religiously-mediated sexual orientation change.” published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy has been hailed by conservative US Christians in publications and websites as a breakthrough. A Christian political group in Australia, the Salt Shakers, was quick to follow, announcing ‘Homosexuals Can Change’. But the study is misleading and this kind of promotion creates mental health issues in individuals and breaks families apart. It’s not only irresponsible it’s also un-Christian to lie and deceive.

The authors of the study, Stanton Jones and Mark Yarhouse, are both professors at conservative Christian universities. The study was taken over several years of 98 participants who were part of Exodus International ministries. Exodus International is an umbrella organisation of ‘ex-gay’ ministries worldwide which believe homosexuality is a sin and, as their slogan says, ‘change is possible’.

I have been working with ‘ex-gay’ survivors (gay and lesbian people who once tried these programs but eventually came to accept their same sex orientation) for over 10 years and I am deeply concerned about the impact this false promotion can have.

According to the Salt Shakers website, more than half were reported as successful in the programs and 23 percent reported a complete change in orientation after six years. This is misleading, by ignoring the fact that 37 people (38%) left the programs. For those of us who work in this area, we know that those drop outs were definitely not success stories.

When you do a thorough analysis of Yarhouse and Jones findings you are lucky find 14% who had some degree of change. But of course we need to define what ‘change’ or ‘success’ is. According the study change is celibacy, a suppression of homosexual desires, rejection of a gay identity or having sex with a woman. This is not a change from a homosexual to a heterosexual orientation as Christian conservatives are boldly stating.

To determine what ‘success’ means in this study, all one has to do is read this statement on the researchers own website which says “change of homosexual orientation may be possible through involvement in Exodus ministries, either a) in the form of an embrace of chastity with a reduction in prominence of homosexual desire, or b) in the form of a diminishing of homosexual attraction and an increase in heterosexual attraction with resulting satisfactory heterosexual adjustment. These latter individuals regard themselves as having changed their sexual orientation; the former regard themselves as having re-established their sexual identities to be defined in some way other than by their homosexual attractions”.

Jones also clarified their findings by saying “A typical hetero male finds himself attracted to a wide range of females. But among the successful people who reported conversion the typical response was I’m very happy with my sexual responses to my wife, but I don’t experience much hetero attraction to other women. Also, when asked and pressed about whether they still find attraction to men, they will say: ‘Yes, if I let my mind go in that direction.’

‘Ex-gays’ that get married and have a level of heterosexual functionality are nothing more than ‘situational heterosexuals’. Just like some heterosexuals might have same sex experiences in an environment like prison, ‘ex-gays’ can have a level of heterosexual functionality in a straight marriage….although this might be challenging as Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International, found out when it took him nine months to consummate his marriage. Obviously he got there in the end as they now have children and not through adoption or IVF as far as know. Alan’s experience is the exact opposite of a normal, functional heterosexual male.

We regularly hear from Christian people like the Salt Shakers, the Australian Christian Lobby and Fred Nile saying that homosexuality can be cured and that 1,000’s have ‘left’ homosexuality but it seems these people must have created their own closet as no one can find them. Christian groups and individuals are quick to put their own spin on studies like this. They did it when Warren Throckmorton’s documentary “I Do Exist” (stories of ‘ex-gays’, who got married” indicating they were now ‘straight’) was released. It seems that the premise of the documentary was false and a better title might have been “I’ve Heard You Exist (but haven’t found you yet)”. Throckmorton has no intention of redoing the documentary and when asked the question “Should religious groups show this film as a means of saying complete change of attractions is possible for all? His answer is “NO. I do regret that the video was used as a part in the culture war surrounding homosexuality. I regret any perception that change is certain or easy. In fact, I now believe durable change in basic attractions is very infrequent”.

The same thing happened when the Spitzer 2001 study Can Some Gay Men and Lesbians Change Their Sexual Orientation? was released. Conservative Christian organisations misused his study so much he had to make a public declaration that he was at odds with these groups.

Dr Jack Drescher, psychiatrist and the foremost expert and scholar on GLBT therapy, concerning the Yarhouse and Jones study said, “I think the authors have a bias and I have a bias, Everybody has a bias. That’s why we have accumulation of data – and that doesn’t support their data. There are peer-reviewed studies in the literature and the sum of all the literature does not indicate these treatments are effective. If one study comes out that seems to contradict the bulk of the scientific research that proves that people can change - that’s interesting, can they replicate it?”

Back to Australia

It is not unusual for groups like the Salt Shakers to twist the reports to suit their own agenda. I caught them out in September 2006 when their newsletter (1/09/2006) proclaimed “Homosexuals CAN change and they "should be allowed to do so" - says APA President. I had been following developments in the US and at that point the APA (American Psychological Association) had issued a statement about client self determination/autonomy and the therapists could work with people troubled about their sexual orientation on these conditions:

Determine why the client feels they want to reject their sexual orientation
Inform the client that there is no scientific data to prove reparative therapy changes ones orientation
Inform the client of the possible dangers should they proceed
Inform the client that the APA has not considered homosexuality to be a disorder since 1973

As you see this is nowhere near the bold claim made by the Salt Shakers “Homosexuals CAN change and they "should be allowed to do so". I sent an email to them asking for a correction. They said they got the information from Lifesitenews, which is notorious for their extreme Christian views, but even their headline “APA President Supports Therapy Treating Unwanted Homosexual Tendencies was less misleading. Either the Salt Shakers are poor researchers and quick to jump on any anti-gay bandwagon or intentionally deceptive.

The APA gives clear guidelines to its therapists regarding working with LGBT clients

Psychologists strive to understand the effects of stigma (i.e., prejudice, discrimination, and violence) and its various contextual manifestations in the lives of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.
Psychologists understand that lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not mental illnesses.
Psychologists understand that same-sex attractions, feelings, and behaviour are normal variants of human sexuality and that efforts to change sexual orientation have not been shown to be effective or safe.

The Salt Shakers sort of made a correction in the next newsletter (15/09/2006) but it was hardly honest and never said ‘we were wrong’. It read as follows.

Dr Koocher stated, the “APA has no conflict with psychologists who help those distressed by unwanted homosexual attraction.” Dr. Koocher emphasized that so long as patient autonomy and choice were respected, the APA’s Code of Ethics would certainly encompass psychological treatment of those who wish to be free of homosexual attraction."

Pretty clear you would think, but not to those who have a personal agenda to normalise homosexuality and force society to accept it and believe it is innate. Which is no doubt why we were contacted by Anthony Venn-Brown from Sydney, He was very quick to point out that the APA has not ‘officially’ changed it’s position and that we should “correct” what we had said. Anthony was a Christian minister who chose to leave his wife, two daughters and the church some 14 years ago to follow his homosexual ‘inclinations’.

Venn-Brown also sent out a media release about this issue headed "Australia's leading ex-ex-gay warns of the dangers". It said, "American style exgay programs seeking to find a market in Australia are in for a fight, says Anthony Venn-Brown; his goal is to close the existing ones down.”

So much for choice and freedom in this democratic country. His words are a total denial that many people, who were once homosexuals/lesbians, are now living with a heterosexual identity as God made them. Many are happily married, and many have children. But there are none so blind as those who do not want to see!

Peter Stokes

Co Founder & Executive Officer
Salt Shakers Inc

The thing that concerns me the most about the false claims made from research projects like this is the impact this has on individuals and families. If you are in an anti-gay conservative Christian culture there is a dearth of ignorance about sexuality and enormous pressures to conform. When an individual is struggling to come to terms with their homosexuality this kind of irresponsible spin increases the likelihood of mental health issues, depression and suicidality.

Also Christian parents are given ammunition to reinforce their existing ignorance ‘see I told you, this study says you can change, it’s a choice’ and they put enormous pressure on their gay children to convert. They may even throw them out of the house when they accept being gay and come out. I know too many examples where all of these things have tragically occurred. Twenty to forty percent of homeless youth are LGBT and a quarter of those were kicked out when they came out.

In Australia, the most extreme cases I have come across, parents have paid for prostitutes to try and convert their gay teenager, spent $1,000’s to send them to the US for treatment or even locked them up and beaten them. Yes these have all occurred in Australian ‘Christian’ households.

What of course is tragically ironic is the constant claim these groups make about ‘upholding family values’ and their concern for the children when in truth they are the source of family break ups and such incredible damage in young people lives.

May God forgive them; because many of us are finding it extremely difficult.

Twitter: @gayambassador

Facebook: Anthony Venn-Brown - A Life of Unlearning

The 2011 Honour Awards - Community Hero Award

2011-10-05T12:19:00.009+11:00

My sincere congratulations to Dave Sergeant (Community Hero 2011). .....well deserved. Thirty five years of service to our community. AMAZING. You make the rest of us feel like new kids on the block......hehe.

It's incredible to think what challenges you and others must have faced in the mid 70's setting up the Country Network in rural NSW when being the only gay in the village was not funny.....it could be frightening.

I am sure your work and vision has made an enormous difference to so many lives that previously would have been completely isolated.

Love your work!

Anthony Venn-Brown
An Ambassador for the LGBT Community
Author of 'A Life of Unlearning - A Journey to Find the Truth'
Co-founder of Freedom 2 b[e]
Honoured to be voted one of the 25 Most Influential Gay & Lesbian Australians (2007 & 2009) and finalist for ACON Community Hero Award 2011

Teach Love - Not Hate

2011-09-08T12:38:00.005+10:00

At least someone got it right!

Problems & Concerns in the Anti Gay Marriage Camp

2011-08-20T15:27:00.001+10:00

Extract from a Christian right-wing (SS) newsletter yesterday.

Almost 1,000 people filled the Great Hall of thefederal parliament on Tuesday 16 August - calling onpoliticians to retain the definition of marriage currently in the MarriageAct. Under the theme 'Don't Meddle With Marriage',the meeting called for marriage to continue to be the "union ofa man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into forlife".

Mrs Rebecca Hagelin gave aninspirational address - she called on everyone to celebrate and promote theirmarriages and the benefits that they provide to society. She alsodemonstrated that homosexual relationships and homosexual 'marriages' cannothave the same recognition - Rebecca called on everyone to stand up and beactive in stopping the erosion of marriage.

About the rally.... There were alarge number of speakers - some were very good! We were concerned aboutcomments made by some speakers who said they had supported the 'removal ofdiscrimination' by the passing of amendments to 84 Commonwealth laws and one MPsaid he supported civil unions but opposed marriage.

The involvement of speakers from otherfaiths seems to have been done to spread the message of opposition tohomosexual 'marriage'. However, the inclusion of a message from a Muslimimam, who praised marriage and the family, was problematic because Islamallows a man to have four wives! His statement didn't specify 'one man and onewoman in marriage'. The appointment of a Mormon couple as 'Marriage Ambassadors'was also a great concern, one reason being Mormonism's pastviews on polygamy.

But there are bigger concerns...
Two groups have recently been formed with thespecific intent of claiming that Christians are in favour of homosexual'marriage. These groups are ACTIVELY LOBBYING to tell MPs thatChristians support homosexual marriage.

Now for those groups supportinghomosexual 'marriage' . . .
The group, called 'Christians forGay Marriage', was formed in SA recently. Two of the spokespeople arelesbian ministers of Uniting Churches in SA. A third spokesman is married to awoman, but was the senior minister at Pilgrim Uniting Church in SA, which isthe church attended by Senator Penny Wong and her lesbian partner (if youhaven't heard, they recently announced the partner is expecting a baby inDecember through IVF and sperm donation.)

The second group was formed during thepast week. It is called 'Christians 4 Equality' -which is part of the homosexual lobby group "Australians for MarriageEquality". They have set up a website and are calling for Christiansto tell their MPs they are in FAVOUR of homosexual 'marriage.The website was launched on Friday 12 August, and public statements weremade on Monday 15 August, the day before the rally in Parliament House.

A number of ministers are listed on thewebsite of this new group. Some are homosexual - some are not.

The people who are part of this group (andpromoted on the website) are: Rev Bill Crews (Uniting Churchminister), Rev Rowland Croucher (Baptist minister/JohnMark Ministries), Rev Matt Glover (Baptist Minister, LilydaleBaptist Church, Vic), Rev Roger Munson (UCA), Fr DaveSmith (Anglican, Sydney), Rev Leanne Jenski (UCA,lesbian, founder of Christians for Gay Marriage), Rev DavidHunnerup (UCA Tas), Rev Chris Bedding (Anglican,WA). Others listed are Sandy Miller (lesbian), PaulMartin (Psychologist)
To view the group's website, including astatement from each minister - click here.
Read the report of the launch in the homosexualpaper Star Observer - click here.

Anthony Venn-Brown says:

Thank you to the Christians who have recognisedthat a life time public and legal commitment of love and exclusivity is amarriage no matter what the gender of the individuals. People who do thisshould be honoured and respected.

To Rebecca Hagelin....... yourbreed of Christianity is becoming increasingly abhorrent to many people both inand out of the church and in your own country. Whoever paid for you to visitAustralia and speak at this rally made a very stupid decision. This isprobably why there is no transcript of your supposedly ‘inspirational address/stirringmessage’ available anywhere on the net.....it was just too way out there, theyare nervous about how extreme you are and know that if the average Australianread the entirety of your address they would be horrified. The sensationalistrantings and scaremongering didn't work for Anita Bryant (Save Our Children) in the 70's or for Peter Madden (Homosexual Recruitment) earlier this yearregarding the Mardi Gras parade.....when will you people ever learn.

We recently sent US 'ex-gay' Adam Hood home......you can leave now too if you like. You have fulfilledyour purpose.....tickled the ears of the minority of prejudiced Australian Christians whofalsely believe gay marriage will destroy society and enraged fair mindedstraight, believing and non-believing, Australians that rhetoric of this natureis cruel, ill-informed and completely out of touch. Keep up your good work ofpainting yourselves into a corner....it's getting smaller and smaller. If you haven't realised it yet....you actually do more for our cause then you do for yours. Goodbye!

Rebecca Hagelin Quotes

“It won’t stop at homosexualmarriage – look for polygamy and marriage between adults and children to belegalized. There is no greater dream for a paedophile than to be able tolegally acclaim a child as his lover.”

“There is no greater evil. Thiswar we find ourselves in is a war for the very future of the human race.”

"Any society that hasstrayed from the definition of one man and one woman has eventually collapsed.We know ancient Rome and ancient Greece experimented with it. And of coursethey disappeared.''

“Anything other than marriage as defined as one man and one womancommitted for life is going to be dangerous to the stability of the nation,’’

Adam Hood or Ben Gresham

2011-08-09T15:13:00.009+10:00

Which one would you vote for: Adam Hood or Ben Gresham?

Adam Hood is a married 'straight' man who claims to be formerly gay and believes that homosexuality is a sin. When Adam Hood was invited to Australia to preach a campaign was launched to ensure his damaging message was not promoted. Read about the success of that campaign here.

Ben Gresham is a young gay Christian who says that the 'ex-gay' programs and reparative therapy he went through were incredibly harmful. Ben has integrated his faith and sexuality to now living openly, honestly and with authenticity.

Who is the most real?
Who is the most sincere?
Who do you believe?

Adam Hood - 'Ex-gay'?

Ben Gresham - Gay Christian

Common Elements in 'Ex-gay' Stories

2011-07-24T12:23:00.010+10:00

Please note the familiar story in the video below of someone who proclaims they are 'ex-gay' and changed from gay to now being a heterosexual married person. The majority of these stories have the same common elements. The pattern is always the same.

It's the parents fault - My father didn't love me and/or my mother was overbearing.
Traumatic childhood
Sexual abuse - two 11-12 year old boys playing/experimenting together is not sexual abuse. The story is being over dramatised. Not unusual.
Self hatred
Substance abuse and mental health issues
Messed up lifestyle
Lacking a sense of morality - numerous meaningless sexual encounters
Disillusioned by the so called 'gay lifestyle' .....whatever that is.
Failed gay relationship/relationships
No mention of falling in love with wife or husband. This is what God wanted apparently.
Now has a ministry in this area which creates an added pressure of maintaining the façade or living in denial or they will lose their identity, ministry and source of income.

Interesting to note that:

Many gay and lesbian people had and still have wonderful relationships with their parents but are still gay. Many straight people also had poor relationships with their parents but are heterosexual.
Abuse is abuse but it doesn't make a person gay. Certainly not during experimental phases of puberty with people the same age. Around 40% of people have had a same sex experience but obviously not 40% of the population are gay.
Heterosexuals also can lead self-destructive lifestyles and be promiscuous etc but if they have a conversion experience don't feel the need to blame their tragic past on their sexual orientation.
When straight married people talk about their partners and how they met they usually talk about how they fell in love. And even that they are still in love.
Gay men and lesbians can exist in heterosexual marriages but this is not a change in orientation it is situational heterosexuality.
Amongst gay and lesbian people is a spectrum of morality as there is amongst the straight community. Many gay and lesbian people live in long-term, committed, monogamous relationships.
Gays and lesbians have not cornered the market on sex by any means. An alarming number of married men and women have extra-marital affairs.

Of course this whole thing does have a lighter side. You'll see that when you compare the video below with the one above. Really........ pretending that you are no longer gay or living in denial has an amusing side to it as well. We get the joke. Ex-gay's don't. Another reason to feel sorry for them and their wives.

15 things I've learnt about discussing homosexuality and Christianity

2011-05-31T15:17:00.005+10:00

Homosexuality and/vs Christianity has been a hot topic for many years and those of us existing in this space know it can be an extremely volatile environment. Whenever the LGBT community has sought to end discrimination based on sexual orientation or gain equality, opposition always comes from the same quarter; right wing, conservative Christians, leaders, denominations and organisations. And they can be extremely vocal and opinionated.

Over the last 10 years I have communicated with literally 1,000’s of people about the issue of homosexuality and Christianity. This has been face to face meetings with individuals and church leaders and via personal emails, internet groups, forums, facebook , blogs as well as posting comments after relevant news stories on media sites

When I first began this kind of work it became quite obvious to me that little effective communication was going on. I’ve often referred to it being like a boxing match. The bell rings and both opponents come from their corners swinging punches. The object of the game is to knock the opponent out. The six passages in the bible that refer to same sex activities aren’t called the ‘clobber passages’ for nothing.

Within the above contexts it’s easy to attack and give back what is being dished out to by our ‘opponents’. The conversation reduces to nothing more than an emotional diatribe which basically reinforces each other’s perceptions of each other and positions. Nothing shifts. Calling these kinds of engagements a discussion or debate is flattering ourselves.

Winning is not the goal, communicating effectively is. To speak intelligently, rationally and graciously requires skill and patience.

Here are some of my observations and personal guidelines I’ve found helpful……some I learnt the hard way.

We should always speak respectfully to each other even when we disagree or when people oppose us. If we want to be respected and listened to then we must also be willing to give it.
An angry response to an angry comment gets another angry response and can keep you unhealthily engaged for hours or days. Proverbs 15:1 says ‘a soft answer turns away wrath’.
Sometimes people are speaking from ignorance, preconceived ideas and misconceptions. My role is not to condemn them for their stupidity or ignorance but endeavour to inform and educate.
Watch out for your own and others triggers. We all have triggers. These may come up in the discussion or have initiated it. Triggers that set people off can be: (a) The person is gay themselves but as they have not accepted it, they project their hatred of what is within them on to others. Research has proven this many times. (b) Another trigger can be sexual abuse and that traumatic event understandably clouds a person’s perception and responses. (c) Bitterness and resentment a person holds towards the church, Christians or God for the pain, rejection or injustice they have experienced can be triggered. If we create a safe space and talk the person down and not wind them up then the source of their hurt or anger usually comes out.
When someone attacks you …..don’t attack back. If you do you are lowering yourself to their level.
Sometimes it’s helpful to not respond immediately after reading an email response; emotions are running high and responding in that state you risk the possibility of increasing volatility. Walk away. Put your mind on something else to diffuse the emotion. Sit on it for a few hours or a day. Sometimes it is best to walk away because the discussion has become toxic. If you continue to engage in it, it will poison you as well.
Some people have made their minds up already and have only one agenda; to convert you to their way of thinking. They are often unaware that you used to believe as they do but your personal experience or reading has changed that. If people have made up their minds already then dialogue is not a valuable use of your time. Actually, it’s a useless exercise and does nothing more than feed the other persons angst on the topic. Personally, I don’t bother investing time with these people. Best to spend time with those who are questioning as opposed to people who ‘know’ they are right. We won’t change everyone’s mind on the subject of homosexuality. ….so don’t try and convert everyone.
Name calling never enhances rational discussion. It reduces the quality of the dialogue. Resist the temptation of labelling everyone who has a different opinion or belief to you……..a homophobe or hater.
Asking probing, insightful questions can be more helpful than telling people what the truth is. I learnt that as a coach. Eg…..’if you feel that homosexuality is a choice. Can you please tell me what the benefits are over being straight?’
Show your humanity by acknowledging when a comment hurt you. Saying ‘when you said………….. it really hurt me’…is better than saying ‘you arsehole I hate it when people say things like that’…..or ‘I am offended’. Sometimes people are so into the emotion and volatility of the discussion they are not conscious of how hurtful their remarks are. We are all human beings and, as humans, have feelings. Show the hurt and pain: suppress the anger.
Humour, used appropriately and wisely can help reduce the angst in a heated discussion. Always remember though that ‘hehe’ or ‘lol’ at the end of your comment in written communication…….is the way to let people know you are being funny. Humour doesn’t translate well in written form. People can’t hear the laugh in your voice or see the smile on your face. Without this, you upset people unnecessarily. Sarcasm never enhances a dialogue.
Talking people down and not winding them up is a skill….and like all skills can be learnt, developed and enhanced. Anyone can pour petrol on a fire; it takes skill to put the fire out.
It doesn’t hurt to remind yourself occasionally that there was possibly a time when you felt the same way as the person you are communicating with does.
Ask yourself the question….’whilst I was ignorant about the science around sexual orientation or the historical and cultural contexts of the oft quoted ‘anti-homosexual’ verses, how could people have best communicated different perspectives to me?
Finally, if you are going to be involved in dialogues you must be patient. Some of us forget how long it took us to find answers and resolution. It took me 28 years. No-one jumps from being anti-gay to pro-gay in one conversation. I had email communication with one person for over 6 months. One church leader and I have been dialoguing for 6 years now. Most people would say if he hasn’t changed now he never will. I refuse to believe that; as every time we meet I know I am building trust and respect and giving him one more thing to think about that wasn’t in his consciousness previously. The shifts are small but they are shifts none the less. Eventually all that time and effort will pay off.

I guess all the 15 things above can be summarised in the golden rule. Always treat others the way you’d like be treated yourself.

For a clearer understanding of how these things work out practically look at this website Creating a Space for Change and the model I created some years ago. IT WORKS!

'Spiritual Gays' ......an oxymoron?

2011-04-19T11:14:00.010+10:00

Can you be LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) and a person of faith? Is there a deep sense of spirituality within the lives of people within our community?

The answer to both these questions is of course. YES!

Like many people, I used to believe it was impossible to be a Christian, Jew or Muslim and be gay and that spirituality was not of interest to anyone with the LGBT community. My perception was that it was a hedonistic, self-absorbed, sex-obsessed culture. How wrong I was.

For a long time most believed a person had to change their orientation because only heterosexuality was ‘normal’ and acceptable to God. Many of us from religious backgrounds took the path to ‘wholeness’ only to discover that even though we prayed, had faith and believed God could do miracles, for some reason this one eluded us.

Was the problem with God or us?

Surely it must be us we concluded. The conclusion that I must be a really bad person or I don’t have enough faith sent us down a path of further guilt, condemnation and self loathing……for some the end was tragic.

When I resigned from the ministry, 20 years ago this year, I only knew of two options. Heterosexuals can get to heaven if they are good and have faith, but homosexuals go to hell no matter what. It was like the ‘do not pass go, go directly to gaol’ card in the monopoly game. I didn’t know a single person who believed anything different. And even if there was, so strong were the years of conditioning that I would have thought they were into self-justification or deceived believers.

Like many people, I walked away from faith never expecting that I would return. But that often leaves us with a problem. We can be out about our sexuality but in the closet about our faith and beliefs. The faith/belief closet can be as toxic and damaging, full of unresolved issues, trauma, and fear as the sexuality closet; robbing us of an authentic life; our spiritual self remains in darkness.

When people come to me to seek help about the perceived conflict between their faith and sexuality, I let them know several options are available to them. They can reject their previous belief system, redefine it, adopt an entirely new belief system or integrate it. They need to work out which is the healthiest option for them at that time. So deep is the inner turmoil and cognitive dissonance, that for some, I suggest putting their belief system on hold completely for a period of time; maybe forever.

Not only has there been a change in societies understanding of sexual orientation this has also happened at a delayed rate within Christian circles. The delay is caused by ignorance, added prejudices and beliefs inherent in religions that say we have the truth.

Rev Fred Nile

Cardinal George Pell

A 2005 study ‘Mapping Homophobia in Australia’ showed there were still 35 percent of Australians who believed that homosexuality immoral. Whilst this is disturbing, it is a huge shift from what was once 100 percent. By 2009 that figure had dropped to 29 percent. Three factors contributed to the likelihood of homophobic attitudes, gender, age and religion. So the most homophobic people in Australia are older, religious males. It doesn't take much imagination to work out who fits that demographic when you know who are the vocal, main opponents in Australia to any request for LGBT equality? Hello!

Our only comfort is to know they are a dying breed.

Even in the deeply religious culture of America, shifts happen annually and attitudes and beliefs about gay marriage and gays serving in the military have changed. Recently, the question, ‘Should homosexuality be accepted by society?’ finally bumped over the 50 percent mark in the affirmative. Go USA!

The marketing principle is as true about society’s attitudes and concepts as it is about the introduction of a new product such as a personal computer or smart phone. Firstly there are the innovators, then early adopters, followed by the early majority and finally the late majority and laggards.

In 1968, after the tragic suicide of a number of his friends, Troy Perry (innovator) gathered 12 people in his lounge room and had the very first meeting of the Metropolitan Community Church. It seems, Troy was the first person who dared to believe that there wasn’t a conflict between his sexual orientation and Christian faith. This was the birth not only of a denomination but of a revolution. Since then the number has grown to many, many 1,000’s (Google ‘Gay Christian’). The number of mainstream churches and denominations (early majority) who welcome and affirm LGBT people has grown exponentially over the last three decades and expanded to eighty six different denominations across forty six countries.

A survey of 9,000 gay, lesbian, and bisexual Americans showed that 60 percent say their faith is "very important" in their lives. Barna, a Christian and instigator of the survey, points out that the numbers demonstrate that "popular stereotypes about the spiritual life of gays and lesbians are simply wrong."

"People who portray gay adults as godless, hedonistic, Christian bashers are not working with the facts," Barna said. "A substantial majority of gays in America cite their faith as a central facet of their life."

Barna's data indicates that homosexual believers tend to avoid active participation in an institutional church, both anecdotal evidence and some research shows that gays and lesbians who are involved in their churches and denominations are often more committed to the church and more involved in ministry than their straight brethren. Many of course have to live in a Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell culture but they remain committed to the faith and church that means so much.

Today in Australia we have a new emerging group within our LGBT community. They are people of faith and religion. They are not only out about their sexuality they are also out about their faith (even in the often hostile anti-religion LGBT community).

In our Freedom 2 b[e] online community (Telling Our Stories), what took decades for some of us to sort out, we have young people who have resolved faith/sexuality issues at 15 and 16. Others have come back into faith later in life; feeling the need to reconnect with their spirituality and that they possibly had thrown the baby out with the bath water. Some have taken on less structured and formal beliefs, adopting meditation of other spiritual practices. Mix in the right circles and it’s not hard to have an in-depth, meaningful conversation about spirituality with an LGBT person.

One thing I have found fascinating, is the number of community leaders I have met who came from faith backgrounds. Some were ministers, missionaries, church leaders and left the faith; no longer able to live in a world that viewed them as the ultimate sinner. Others were outed, shamed and forced to leave. Interestingly, they have continued to live their core inner values of purpose, service, making a difference and justice, no longer attending a church or belonging to a particular religion…….but serving our community.

The churches loss…….the LGBT communities gain.
© Anthony Venn-Brown

Australians Tell U.S. Ex-gay….Not Here Thanks!

2011-04-01T11:52:00.011+11:00

Read about the success of this campaign here and here

Tweet: 1 Apr 2011 :gayambassador Anthony Venn-Brown "message from Aussie #exgaysurvivors to all USA 'ex-gays' thinking of coming to Australia to speak. "Don't bother"

ACTION DETAILS BELOW

An American ex-gay preacher, invited to speak in some Australian churches (Miracle Christian Center’s), is learning his message, that God ‘cures’ people of homosexuality, is not welcome in this country. One of the venues booked for his talk has withdrawn permission to use their premises. The venue originally booked was St Columbian’s Catholic College in Caboolture Queensland.

Possibly things have changed more in Australia then we realise with the principal of the school stating on their site that “St Columbian’s College is a caring, inclusive community, and we will not allow our facilities to be used by those seeking to promote views which are not in line with the Catholic Christian ethos of our community”.

Adam Hood, a self professed former homosexual, gained some notoriety last year when videos were released claiming that he was once an extravagant, card-carrying gay man, living in San Francisco with a handsome boyfriend whilst heavily involved in drugs and Satanism. Hood tells the interviewer he has now been delivered from homosexuality and when he first had sex with wife he screamed “Jesus” because he loves women and his wife’s body.

Many had difficulty believing Hood’s story and originally some thought the video was a joke. Hood squeals, flays his hands about and is dressed like a flamboyant interior designer who has no qualms letting everyone knowing he is gay.

But Hood gets down to the core of his message. ‘Homosexuality is an abomination. It’s a sin God will dam. If they stay in that sin they will be dammed to hell and rightly so because they need to be quarantined. Homosexuals are straight up lost. Lost because they didn’t have fathers or were sexually abused by some man. Homosexuality is one of the worst forms of depravity.”

Anthony Venn-Brown, co-founder of Freedom 2 b[e], who has helped many former ex-gays, says this seems like a last ditch attempt for American ex-gay groups to try and claw back the ground that has been lost here in Australia over the last decade. Venn-Brown went through Australia’s first ex-gay program in the early 70’s but like so many who originally went down that track, is now living as an openly gay man and assists ex-gay survivors find resolution from what he calls ‘years of unnecessary torment’.

“The ex-gay message in Australia and other parts of the world is being watered down and becoming more and more redundant. The message Adam is preaching is extremely outdated. This was the message of the ex-gay movement in the 70’s. Once they realised it didn’t work the message changed and here in Australia there is not one group I know of who would boldly claim they can make the gay go away”. Venn-Brown said. They have had to change their message because the reality is no-one changes their sexual orientation even if they do get married and have children. Through telling our stories, former ex-gay leaders apologising and sharing their new perspectives, the support of Pentecostal and Evangelical church leaders, we have changed the landscape here. Ex-gay ministries are in decline in Australia. Even Exodus International’s Senior Director of Church Equipping &amp; Student Ministries, Jeff Buchanan, told The Christian Post last week, “In no way shape or form is our message about trying to cure or do we try to promote that type of methodology or message.” Venn-Brown added.

Paul Martin, an openly gay man, psychologist, and former ex-gay leader himself, blew the whistle on Hood’s visit when he was contacted by a troubled student about the upcoming event in Caboolture.

“Nobody I met whilst being a leader in the Exodus movement actually changed and the people who were married would end up telling me that they’d created a private hell as they hadn’t changed at all, and lived in a state of permanent distress. The potential psychological carnage that can come out of these seminars both indirectly and directly is palpable. I’ve spent over 20 years counselling survivors of these groups, some who attempted suicide.” Martin said.

According to Venn-Brown, Miracle Christian Centre is a fringe Pentecostal group which have set up an independent network away from mainstream Christianity which is probably why they invited Hood.

Venn-Brown concluded “Australian society has become more informed about sexuality and accepting of gay and lesbian people. Adams message is not only irrelevant and unwelcome…. it’s damaging. We refuse to go back to our days of ignorance. Please enjoy our beautiful country Adam but don’t pollute it with your toxic message of self loathing”.

Hood is currently booked to tell his story in community halls in Melbourne hired by Miracle Christian Center this weekend. The gay community it asking the councils responsible for hiring the venues, to follow the lead of St Columbian’s College in Caboolture.

We ask all LGBT people, their family and friends to email the Mayors of Dandenong and Prahran, respectfully requesting they do the same.

Please make sure that communication is rational and non-hateful……unlike Mr Hoods message.

Email details are:

Dandenong - Mayor Roz Blades: roz.blades@cgd.vic.gov.au

Prahan - Mayor Melina Sehr msehr@stonnington.vic.gov.au

Below is my email to the Mayors as an example.

Dear ………..

I have attached a press release I have just sent out about Adam Hood who I am sure you are aware of now is speaking at a venue hired out by your council this weekend.

You may not be aware of the ex-gay movement or its message that Mr Hood represents. Basically it is that homosexuality as an orientation is flawed, gay and lesbian people go to hell and that if people turn to Jesus then they can go from gay to straight.

I have been working in this area for many years with people who have been through programs after adopting the ex-gay message. Great harm is experienced by people in these situations including mental health issues attempts to suicide and we know of too many cases where some have succeeded in taking their own lives. This is a great tragedy.

As the Mayor of …………, can I please respectfully ask that the council look into this and cancel the proposed use of the venue this weekend as has already been done by St Columbian’s Catholic College in Caboolture Queensland..

Australia is a country that has moved on from its ignorance about sexual orientation and the message Adam is preaching that being gay is a sin and that people can change is not only false but incredibly damaging to those who are struggling coming to terms with who they are.

Sincerely

Anthony Venn-Brown

An Ambassador for the LGBT Community

Author of 'A Life of Unlearning - A Journey to Find the Truth'

Co-convenor of Freedom 2 b[e]

Honoured to be on the 2007 &amp; 2009 list of the 25 Most Influential Gay &amp; Lesbian Australians

Blog: http://gayambassador.blogspot.com/
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VOTE: Should Peter Madden Aplogise?

2011-02-23T14:27:00.001+11:00

Peter Madden, from the Christian Democratic Party has made false statements, accusations and misrepresentations about gay and lesbian people, the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and the LGBTI (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex) community as a whole. In doing this he has not only offended LGBTI people but also their friends and family as well.

On http://maddensaysorry.blogspot.com/ you will find Peter Madden’s statements from YouTube videos, media appearances and releases.

If you feel that an apology for these is necessary then vote YES and leave comments such as are you gay, straight, friend or family member, minister or religious person.

If you leave a comment please ensure your comments are helpful and rational. There are enough angry and abusive posts on Peter’s Youtubes. If you tell Peter why it is so important to apologise in an honest but respectful way it will get a better response than getting down to the low level of name calling. Remember the enemy is ignorance.

Vote here http://maddensaysorry.blogspot.com/

Did you miss the interview with Peter and I on 2GB last Saturday night? .... No problem. It has been made into a podcast. You can get the details here. You will notice that Glenn Wheeler gave Peter Madden plenty of opportunity to speak so he could dig the hole deeper.

Let’s send a message to Fred Nile, Peter Madden and the Christian Democratic Party that gay bashing, irrational statements, stereotyping, exaggeration and ignorance about sexuality will no longer tolerated. And don’t target the gay community to try and get the Christian vote.

Should Peter Madden apologise?

An Open Letter to Peter Madden (CDP)

2011-02-07T17:35:00.008+11:00

Dear Peter

How big is that hole you are digging for yourself at the Christian Democratic Party headquarters?

Your YouTube video “Heal Our Land - Stand for Righteousness”, calling for a shutdown of Mardi Gras ‘anarchy’, as you call it, has caused quite a stir. I am sure you were unaware of the backlash this would create. 20 likes and 700 dislikes, on YouTube, possibly give you some indication of the success of your campaign.

The mindset and language in the video reflects a culture of over 20 years ago (1989) when The Rev. Fred Nile, with several hundred Christians, walked up Oxford Street in a ‘cleansing’ march. Far from that being an act of cleansing Oxford Street from the homosexual menace, Australian society has become more accepting of diversity and many of the inequalities experienced by gay and lesbian people have been addressed. This is not so in some areas of the Christian Church however. History tells us the church rarely leads positive change but in fact often opposes it. Equality for people of colour, interracial marriages and the role of women in the church are just some examples. To enter the political arena you will need to be more in touch with relevant issues.

Like many people who criticise the Mardi Gras parade, you seem to lack understanding of its significance, history and positive impact on the City of Sydney. Far from being a celebration of G-strings, sex toys and debauchery, as you’ve said, it’s a celebration of pride and acceptance for a group of people who have suffered for decades because of their own and society’s ignorance about sexual orientation and gender diversity. Homosexuality is not a sin, it’s an orientation.

Your heterosexuality is celebrated every single day with weddings, engagements, anniversaries, baby showers, christenings etc., so surely it’s not too much to ask that we celebrate who we are once a year.

Summarising your initial video the words, ‘sensationalist’, ‘fear-mongering’ and ‘stereotyping’ come to mind.

I am referring to statements such as:

· “100,000’s of drunken youth will come to Sydney streets and be incited to all kind of lust, filth and moral depravity”

· “Mardi Gras is Sydney’s high day of sexual immorality”

· “Hyde Park will be strewn with the bodies of drunken teenagers. 13, 14 and 15 year old children, celebrating watching and participating in forms of sex they can’t understand.

· “Mardi Gras is a parade of live porn”

· “There will be beatings, drugs, alcohol, violence and debauchery"

· “This is not an attack on bruised and confused individuals”

Am I to assume the last comment is about gay and lesbian individuals or are you referring to the 100,000’s of drunken youth? I don’t think that that the majority of the LGBT community or well respected figures such as Olympian, Matthew Mitcham, political leaders like Penny Wong and Bob Brown or former High Court Judge Michael Kirby see ourselves as bruised and broken. This is not only untrue it is highly offensive. I will resist the temptation of returning the favour by labelling you.

If you intend developing a career as a politician, can I suggest that you will have to stop talking like a militant, emotional, preacher behind a pulpit and begin talking facts and act more like a normal, informed person.

As if you hadn’t done enough damage…… then you post another video; A Response to Comments on Stand For Righteousness. Wasn’t the hole big enough?

I think most people struggle with the truth of your protests of “not being homophobic”, “you don’t hate homosexuals but that you actually love them”. The fact that you, like Fred Nile, refuse to use the term gay or even our increasingly cumbersome acronym, the LGBT community, is a reflection of your lack of respect for us. Your statement the other day that you “love the sinner but hate the sin” is nothing more than a tired, hackneyed cliché and a cover up. We hear the hate but we don’t see the love.

BTW… I do have something to thank you for.

Your video has incensed a number of ministers, feeling that our community might think you represent the Christian church, and they have contacted me, asking if they can march with Freedom 2 b[e] in this year’s parade. This happened in 2008 when 100 (The 100 Revs) Evangelical and Pentecostal ministers signed an apology and marched in the parade to say sorry for the way the church had treated so many of us. The ministers were moved to tears that day by the ovation of the crowd and the hospitality shown to them by our community.

I think an apology from you is also in order for the misrepresentation of our community and parade.

Peter, I don’t see you as the enemy. The enemy is ignorance. The kind of ignorance demonstrated in your videos and shows that your understanding of sexual orientation, the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras and LGBT people as a whole is sadly lacking.

Sincerely

Anthony Venn-Brown
LGBT community leader, author of A Life of Unlearning: a journey to find the truth and Co-founder of Freedom 2 b[e]

2010: Another Great Year of Wins

2011-01-09T23:40:00.004+11:00

It’s always good to sit down and evaluate what has been achieved over the year to ensure that you are on track. 2010 has been another full-on year and looking back certain themes have emerged, and I have become even more aware of how extensive and important this work has become. I hope that you are as encouraged by the wins of 2010 as I am.

1. ABC’s Hungry Beast show on Gay Conversion (UP). The popular ABC show tackled the issue of ex-gay therapy. I helped with research and was one of the three interviewed for the prime time program. Reporter, Monique Schafter, did an excellent job of impartial reporting and the segment won the Most Outstanding Queer Media Report at the ALSO Awards. You can see the extended version on my YouTube Channel soon. The hour long online chat after the show broke ABC records with the number of participants and comments.

2. Seventh Day Adventists (P). I was invited to speak at the forum ‘Homosexuality: Seeking an adequate Seventh Day Adventist response’ in Sydney. It’s amazing to see what have been known as conservative Christian denominations begin to re-evaluate their beliefs about homosexuality and seeking a more appropriate pastoral response. There are some really interesting things happening behind the scenes in this denomination.

3. Tabor Bible College, Melbourne (P). Tabor College Victoria did a week's intensive Spirituality and Sexuality and I was invited to give a two hour lecture with and additional 40 minutes for questions. I believe this is the first time in Australia that a Pentecostal/Charismatic Bible College has tackled the issue of homosexuality in such an open manner and invite an openly gay man to lecture. Kudos to Tabor. You can read the PowerPoint handouts here 'An alternative approach to sexual orientation, gender diversity and Christian faith’. I’d love to do more of this work.

4. Freedom 2 b[e] (UP). I am proud to say that Freedom 2 b[e] has continued to grow and I think we could safely say has now become Australia’s leading organisation for LGBT people from Christian backgrounds. Traffic on our site has increased nearly 700% in the last 12 months and our online forum has over 800 registered users and 200 personal stories. This year we have literally saved lives from suicide and assisted many young people in the process of successfully coming out to Christian parents and friends. We have monthly chapter meetings in Sydney and Melbourne as well as youth groups. You can read of the exciting developments and history of Freedom 2 b[e] in this 6 page report.. I would really love to see a chapter established in Brisbane during 2011.

5. Deconstructing the ‘Ex-gay Myth’ (UP). I have continued to work towards my goal of seeing every ’ex-gay’ ministry in Australia close down by creating awareness of the irrelevancy of the ‘ex-gay ‘ message and educating people about the negative impacts of reparative/conversion therapy. One way of doing this has been speaking on the issue. See PP presentation here ‘A Glimpse into Australia’s Ex-gay World’. I have also done several media interviews as well as Hungry Beast. The latest has been in the December/January edition of Madison magazine. I was interviewed by their journalist, Clair Weaver, for the article and assisted her with background research. An edited version of the four page article was put up online here. I created a new site for those seeking help to find realistic information. The other day I did a Google search ‘ex-gay australia’ and realised that not only does one of my sites come up number one but that the majority of the next six pages are projects I have been involved in or articles I’m quoted in. You can’t actually find any ex-gay organisations in Australia on these pages. I was even approached by the City of Sydney Council to determine if they should rent out premises to a new Anglican church plant in Darlinghurst that it had been assumed were running ex-gay ministries. I believe we are winning the war on ignorance in this area. But it’s not over yet!

6. Creating Awareness of the Issues Faced by LGBT People from Faith Backgrounds (UP). For the last 12 months I have been circulating my document What are we doing for LGBT people of faith. I believe that this emerging group is possibly one of the highest risk groups in our community in several areas including suicide. Read my reasons for this in the link above. I searched the world for specific research in this area but found none. Over the last 12 months I have been able to connect with at least 10 people in Australia who are doing either their honours or PhD research in this area and I’m in the process of creating a research collective. I believe that Australia could possibly lead the way in this area of research. It’s vital that we get data and not just anecdotal stories. Still much to do in this area.

7. Freedom 2 b[e] Marches for the 4^th Time in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras (UP). Our theme this year was ‘Celebrating Ex-gay Survivors’. You can see the video here. If you want to march with us this year then register here. Our theme is ‘Find Freedom’. Heterosexual friends and family welcome. In case you don’t know Freedom 2 b[e] is a very unique organisation. Probably the only one like it in the world. If you don’t know why then read this.

8. Walking Between Worlds – working effectively with LGBT people from faith backgrounds (P). After 10 years experience working in this area I have seen a need to train others particularly LGBT community workers, social workers, mental health professionals, school counsellors, phone counselling services, chaplains and LGBT liaison officers. This seminar equips them to work more effectively with these targets groups by helping them understand the mindset, culture and issues faced. ACON sponsored the inaugural program in September and I also presented a half day workshop on this for the Uniting Church during the Perth Pride celebrations. I really like to do this workshop all over Australia.

9. London & NYC Visit (P&UP). I desperately needed a break in September and due the generosity of a dear friend was flown over to London for a couple of weeks. But during that time I did a couple of hours consultation with the HR department of YMCA UK on LGBT issues, spoke at MCC North London, spoke on ‘Defining Moments in Life ‘at a dinner called ‘An intimate Evening with Anthony’ hosted by MCC London and the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement and had an amazing interview with Tony Green (still to be published). I popped over to NYC for a few days for a couple of meetings.

10. "Homosexuality, Christianity and the Church - resolving the conflicts" (P). Unfortunately I only got to do one of these this year. But it was special. Hosted by Pastor Chris Page and Doncaster Baptist Church in Melbourne, it was attended by gay and lesbian people in the process of coming out, heterosexual friends and family, several teachers from Christian schools and three pastors. I did get to present part of this seminar at a public forum during Perth Pride with 60 people showing up. Another thing I’d like to do more of in 2011.

11. A Different Conversation Conferences Sydney and Melbourne (UP). The objective of these conferences was to bring evangelical ministers and Christian leaders together and provide a safe space for them to discuss and learn about issues of sexuality and gender identity. I was involved behind the scenes assisting Pastor Mike Hercock (100 Revs) with selection and connection with relevant speakers for the Sydney conference (Mardi Gras 2010). At the Melbourne conference (October 2010) I used some stories from the Freedom 2 b[e] forum to demonstrate ‘The Tragic Outcomes of Ignorance’. These conferences have proven to be effective bridge building spaces and enable us to create greater awareness about LGBT issues in churches. Kudos to Ps Mike Hercock, Zac Turner, Rev Kath McKinney and their teams for stepping into new territory.

12. National LGBT Health Conference Sydney (UP). Presented a workshop on LGBTI People of Faith and Religion; the issues they face and specific needs. You can listen to the presentation and see the PowerPoint slides here.

13. Private Meetings with Church Leaders (UP). Can’t say who they are or what we talk about (that is a part of the agreement) but my strategy of creating dialogues is working. Because of my background, I have the privileged position of personal contact with key people. I know these conversations in a safe space, behind closed doors will eventually produce greater understanding and acceptance. In the past, time has been limited to arrange these important meetings but I would really like to be able to do more networking like this in 2011.

14. Social Media (UP). If you are one of my nearly 2000 facebook ‘friends’ or follow me on twitter you’ll know I use social networking a lot to get information out there. You may have even seen me active at 2 or 3am in the mornings. You’ll see me on the Freedom 2 b[e]] forum, ozmarriedgays , exexgay group (commenced that in 2000 but nearly died this year because so much is being done in this area) and my various blogs and sites. In my first year as a Twitterer I tweeted 500 times and my blogs have had 12,000 visitors from 117 countries. I also set up a new YouTube channel with TV appearances and other relevant videos. Used properly these are great communication tools. I am so glad I am living in this amazing time. More to do here.

15. Docos and Films (UP). There are several docos and films currently either in planning or production stage here in Australia on the issue of faith and sexuality. Where possible I have been able to provide information and assisted people with resources, people and background for their work. Expect a cameo appearance in some…..hehe.

16. Media (UP). I am often approached by the media for comment or background on relevant issues. My activity in this area this year has suffered the most. Boo hoo! Although I have become a monthly columnist for SX (P). Here is my first piece.

17. Situational Heterosexuality (UP). This is a term I coined a few years back to describe my experience as a gay man in at heterosexual marriage. My friend, Iain, encouraged me to write an article on the subject. When the article was put on my blog it went viral and ended up on nearly 60 sites around the world and translated into several languages. Several sites commented on the article such as Jerry Falwell’s Regent University site, the popular Bilerico and Jo.My.God sites. It was on the latter I was quite viciously attacked by some bitter twisted queens. I think they are professional ‘dumpers’ who spent their days trawling the net looking for opportunities to project their anger and unresolved issues. I suggest therapy would work better…..lol.

18. Uganda – the Anti-Homosexual Bill (UP). This was my big disappointment for 2010. For those not aware some Ugandan parliamentarians introduced a bill that would increase the penalties for same sex activity including imprisonment and execution. Even people who don’t notify authorities about gays and lesbians face imprisonment. This tragic situation had been fuelled by the visit of a number of evangelicals from the US. Gay rights groups mobilised. I was on conference calls with major gay rights groups in the US planning strategies. Australian media reported on what was happening but basically our government and religious leaders were silent on the issue. I knew I could possibly encourage and mobilise Christian leaders to speak up and possibly get some government interest. But alas….no time or funding to move with this.

19. More (UP). Yep there is more but you get the picture. Other things have included, newsletters and communicating with inquirers via email. Particularly from readers of my autobiography, A Life of Unlearning: a journey to find the truth, heterosexual friends and family members looking for answers. Seems like I have become a bit of a referral centre.

Moratorium on GHF and the WBC

2010-12-29T16:28:00.005+11:00

Images of the GHF’s group remind me of Grant Woods America Gothic or of fugitives from the set of the Beverly Hillbillies. Fashion sense? They have none but their dress sense indicates they are not people from a big city. Rural, middle America is where they reside.

You’ve seen photos of them in the gay press, on websites, YouTube, Fox News, BBC, CNN, ABC, the Chasers War on Everything, Michael Moore documentaries and even a cameo appearance in Bruno. Attention that any media whore would envy.

When you read of their antics, disgusting and abhorrent are words that immediately come to mind. They are banned from entering some countries along with known terrorists.

Strangely enough though, they would be aligned with some in the LGBT community as they have protested against the Pope, Catholic Church and the late anti-gay, Jerry Falwell, often called the father of the Religious Right. Falwell responded by calling their leader ‘a first class nut’.

They are not only anti-homosexual, they seem to be anti everything including anti-Sweden, anti-Australia and have labelled President Barrack Obama the anti-christ. Even I get a mention on their site as an Australian poster boy for sin along with Heath Ledger, Darren Hayes and Peter Allen. How faaaaaaaaaaaabulous to be in the company of such well known names.

If you haven’t realised who I’m speaking about yet I am referring to the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, Topeka Kansas, their leader Rev Fred Phelps and their God Hates Fags campaign. This is the last time I will refer to them by name as the less we actually use it the better.

As lawyers initially, they fought for equal rights for African Americans who had experienced racial discrimination and tried to sue President Ronald Reagan for appointing a US ambassador to the Vatican. The basis of their action; the need for a separation between church and state. Somewhere along the line they went off the rails or maybe they were always obsessive intense activists who just happened to begin using that for good causes.

The LGBT community became aware of them when they began picketing funerals of men who had died of AIDS carrying offensive signs like ‘God Hates Fags and ‘’AIDS is God’s Answer to Homosexuality’.

Don’t be misled, these people are not stupid. Fred, the leader, is a disbarred lawyer and his children practising lawyers. They are idiots but not unintelligent.

What I can’t understand is why the GHFs group are given so much media attention. Why do we respond to their insanity? Do they represent Christianity or speak on behalf of the Christian church? I think not!

I doubt that Fred Nile of the Christian Democratic Party, Anglican Archbishop of Sydney Peter Jenson or Roman Catholic Archbishop George Pell would condone the language or activities of the group.....although they may be aligned with the sentiments.

Unfortunately what most people don’t realised is that the WBC is nothing more than a Christian cult of less than 100 people who should be relegated to the category of fruit cakes along with the tiny number of snake handling churches found in similar parts of the US. There is a huge gap between having faith and being mentally unstable. Although maybe it is only a fine line for some.

The WBC and snake handlers are fringe, extremist groups that bear little, actually, no resemblance to genuine Christianity. When you read the gospels, you read of Jesus opposing the religious bigots and their hypocrisy. In fact, he never sought them out to confront their stupidity. Obviously Jesus believed His time could be spent more productively. They followed Him around like a bad smell, constantly being living examples of the contrasts between Jesus’ message of love and acceptance versus the Pharisees’ preaching of judgment and condemnation.

Some would argue that freedom of speech is a personal right in a democratic society and that everyone is entitled to an opinion. In one of the many legal cases against the group, U.S. District Judge Richard D. Bennett, stated in his instruction to the jury that the First Amendment protection of free speech has limits, including vulgar, offensive and shocking statements, and that the jury must decide ‘whether the defendant's actions would be highly offensive to a reasonable person, whether they were extreme and outrageous and whether these actions were so offensive and shocking as to not be entitled to First Amendment protection.’

What influence does their message and antics have? Are people swayed by them in any way? I think not. Does the Klu Klux Klan gain converts by wearing hoods and burning crosses? It’s unfortunate that such groups exist but they do. Unfortunately, extremism is something we have to live with; in the spectrum of this thing we call the human race.

But do we have to give them exposure, a voice and create a celebrity status by constantly reporting on their activities and using them as examples of Christian beliefs about homosexuality? Responding to them in any way gives some level of credibility to their insanity.

Ignoring them, certainly won’t make them go away but it won’t give them the thing they crave; attention. From now on let’s remind ourselves that the GHF group are a dying breed of ignoramus’s by not mentioning them or using them as examples of religious hatred. There are enough of those already. Let’s have a moratorium on GHF and the WBC! Haven’t we got more important issues to devote our time and energies to?

Gay Suicide – the visible, invisible and hidden (Part One)

2010-10-26T14:42:00.003+11:00

WHEN THE INVISIBLE BECOMES VISIBLE

Recently, gay youth suicide reached the media landscape in an unprecedented way. Initially one suicide made headlines as a result of bullying then another then another till five names were regularly repeated. Within several weeks it had been reported that Seth Walsh, 13, hanged himself in his backyard. Asher Brown, 13, shot himself after coming out of the closet. Billy Lucas, 15, hanged himself on the same day a group of students tormented him. Tyler Clementi, 18, jumped from a bridge because his roommate videotaped him in an intimate relationship and uploaded the images to the Internet. Raymond Chase, 19, hanged himself in his university dorm. The list goes on. Cody J. Barker 17 being the next. A tragedy to lose such young precious lives.

Of course for many of us in the LGBT community this comes as no surprise and something we have come to live with daily. Hence what had been relatively invisible to many suddenly became visible.

But this is not some new phenomena or epidemic; it’s been going on for decades. Whilst at Hunters Hill High School in the 60’s two of my fellow students took their lives. Harassment, name calling and bullying; contributing factors. When I was growing up, being a ‘homosexual’ meant you were imprisoned or treated with horrific practices to cure you such as aversion therapy or lobotomies; considered perverts. One would think that in this day of greater understanding and acceptance that these things would not be occurring.

Shamefully, awareness-raising has been previously resisted even amongst some suicide prevention organisations in Australia. Apparently the high rate of suicide amongst LGBT youth was not considered worthy of special attention or funding.

I remember when my autobiography was first released and I began doing media work, being told constantly by interviewers and producers that it was policy to not talk about the issue of suicide and that I shouldn’t mention it.

Front page stories and high levels of media attention moved many into action. Hundreds of faith leaders signed on to an anti-bullying statement and pledge to action leading up to Spirit Day in the US, which grew into a national day of remembrance for those who have lost their lives to the despair of bullying. Celebrities and TV shows such as the Today Show, The View, The Talk and Ellen DeGeneres were among those ‘Going Purple’ for Spirit Day. In Australia Wear it Purple Day was created.

A wonderful initiative was the It’s Gets Better video project where those that have moved through those harrowing teenage years encouraged young people to hold on, seek help, talk to others and shared how wonderful their lives and accepting their families had become. There's a gay cop and an ex-Mormon, a young Muslim from a conservative Pakistani home, gay parents showing off photos of their kids and an openly gay Baptist minister. This is one of my personal favourites. President Obama added his voice. From the comments of current and previous Prime Ministers about gay and lesbian people it’s difficult to imagine that happening here in Australia; even with recent reforms.

Another benefit has been that traditionally anti-gay groups such as Exodus have had another wakeup call about the damaging impact of their position. Exodus has withdrawn its support from the Day of Truth held on the same day as the Day of Silence. On the Day of Silence, students take a "a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools," according to a web site run by the event's sponsor, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). The Day of Truth “was established to counter the promotion of homosexual behaviour and to express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective," according to a manual for this year's event published by Exodus International.

Alan Chambers, President of Exodus International, the group that sponsored the event this year has now said. "All the recent attention to bullying helped us realize that we need to equip kids to live out biblical tolerance and grace while treating their neighbours as they'd like to be treated, whether they agree with them or not." That’s better. I sent him an email saying thanks.

In typical insensitive and callous fashion, right wing Christian groups have called the media attention to the suicides ‘opportunistic manipulation to sway young people's views of homosexuality and pro-gay propaganda’. God forgive them for responding to such tragedies with the accusations of hidden agendas and conspiracy theories. In Australia a mildly well know Christian activist group (which shall remain nameless as I don’t think they deserve any promotion from me) responded to the Victorian governments announcement of a 'new initiative' (their quote marks) of a "Safe Schools Coalition" by saying ‘this move is all about promoting homosexuality and giving money for the establishment of 'gay-straight' alliances in schools and training teachers to combat 'homophobia'….and ‘we should be combating any form of bullying - not emphasising one particular aspect as this program does. Write a letter of opposition to The Age about this development- letters@theage.com.au ‘….they add.

WHAT ARE THE TRUE FIGURES?

The impact of sexual orientation and gender identity has been an area of research for some time. We hear a variety of figures of LGBT youth being twice as likely, four to six times more likely and up to 300% more likely to think about, attempt or actually suicide. Obviously the latter figure comes from people incorrectly handling data and being poor mathematicians.

What the research repeatedly shows is that this is a genuine area of need and concern. Considering that some factors which increase the potential of self harm for teens are victimisation, bullying, isolation, unsupportive family life and feeling like you don’t fit in it is pretty obvious to see what LGBT youth are at a much higher risk.

One study of male twins where one twin reported having had sexual relations with men and the other did not. Gay twins were two times more likely to report thoughts of death, more than four times as likely to report suicidal ideation, and more than six times as likely to report attempted suicide than their heterosexual twin brothers. The risk is very very real.

The suicides are tragic enough but this is only a part of the problem. Behind the bullying and discrimination lie lots of other negative outcomes such as depression, low self esteem and poor achievement in school and other areas of life. Behind every suicide there are 100’s more who experience suicide ideation and attempts.

I have been endeavouring to create awareness particularly within the LGBT community that LGBT people from faith backgrounds are one of the highest risk groups of many things including suicide.

The problem began to be very visible to me in the emails I began receiving when my autobiography A Life of Unlearning first edition was released in 2004.

Here is an extract from one of the early ones which arrived in my inbox in April 2005 from BF.

When I discovered I was gay I was horrified. My Catholic family always spoke of these people as abominations. As a teenager I converted from Catholicism and attended a charismatic church where I was informed demonic spirits caused homosexuality. I was commanded to undergo exorcisms. The first two didn’t work as apparently I had unconfessed sin in my life. I was assured the third worked. Sadly I soon realised nothing had changed. I hated myself for years and believed God hated me also. I pleaded with him constantly to heal me and make me straight. Eventually I was commanded to go to the Exodus endorsed program Living Waters. The program left me feeling suicidal and more unworthy than ever. After 3 suicide attempts I came to the conclusion I was an abhorrent and detestable human being unworthy of anyone’s love. Your book was like a ray of sunshine. The first time I read it was in a city bookstore and I was in tears and couldn’t put it down. The next day I went back and bought and have devoured it ever since. Thanks to God and people like yourself I have come to understand and accept who I am and that God does love me. …and that I am a gay man equal to every human being on the planet. Worthy of the same respect and love.

And another in June 2004 from David. Like you I travelled the religious pathway but became a Baptist minister and in 200 I made my exodus from marriage, the ministry and community upon the declaration of my being gay. At 43 years of age I attempted suicide only to be discovered in the Royal National Park by a ranger. I believed I was a worthless abomination to God.

I used to keep all these in a folder but eventually it became too hard to keep a track.

The Freedom 2 b[e] website and forum which now gets over 4000 visits a month has also made this visible. In the Telling Our Stories section you can read things like this. What was invisible has become visible.

16 year old Gettingthere said….. I too have battled suicide although I never attempted it. I struggled with constant suicidal thoughts from year 7 to year 11. Even though I had accepted myself as gay by year 9 and 10. I still wanted to kill myself in order to get other people to know how badly I was hurting.

Scott 18 said…… I began self harming, binge eat then stick my fingers down my throat only to bring it up again. As 2005 came to an end I was slipping further into a deep depression. I became suicidal and those thoughts ruled much of what I did.

Shan 19 said….. I was planning on killing myself for good last night. (this was his third attempt).

Trebor said….. My wife discovered I was not being completely honest with her. This was devastating for both of us and within a year our marriage was over. Our children were now teenagers, when they needed me most, I was not able to be there for them. My life was ruined and I had ruined their lives too. It wasn't worth going on - so one night I decided to end it......

Broken Dreams and God’s Love said. …….On Tuesday afternoon of July 2nd, 2002 I had decided I could not go on living like this and with the feelings I had for men. In one more desperate attempt I prayed one more time that God would work a miracle and intervene. I prayed harder then I had ever prayed before, screaming to the top of my lungs and bawling uncontrollably. I had the feeling in my heart that all the praying I had done was in vain and God had turned His back on me and wasn’t listening anymore. I pulled out a pistol I had in my desk and knew once and for all this was the only way out. I knew my parents would be devastated as well as some of my friends, and my congregation, but they would recover in weeks, months and years to come. Besides it was better I die this way than for them to know I was ever gay.

These are only a small portion of the stories.

Do you believe that the work I do is important?

Would you be interested in helping to support this work? Organisations, businesses and individuals.

Then send an inquiry email to using this link anthony@anthonyvennbrown.com

Thanks.

In my next newsletter I will talk about The Invisible (Part Two) and the one after that The Hidden (Part Three).

I think anomymous UU got it right

2010-10-20T17:43:00.004+11:00

On the Christian Century website there is an good article about recent gay suicides and how this has caused some in the church to become more reflective about the impact of anti-gay rhetoric. The article is called After teen suicides, gay opponents look inward

Anonymous responds
Whose hands are covered in the blood of homosexuals? Not followers of Christ. Not God. How about blaming SATAN, you'd be looking at the truth. The church is providing a way for those whom are being real with themselves to come correct and avoid a life of death. I find it MOST interesting that the liberal media and other forces in the world arena are attacking the Bible and blaming the Bible for the suicides of gay youth, when in actually look at the above link, read about statistics and you come to your own conclusion about reality. The gay community is not facing the death issue in their own backyard but trying to place blame elsewhere. I am not buying it.

Then another anonymous UU replies.......I THOUGHT IT WAS BRILLIANT.

What I don't understand is...........thoughts from a UU.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct 19, 2010 - 05:22 pm.

Why is this even an issue?
How is it reasonable to try to save someone from going to hell because they are gay by tormenting them to the point of suicide? Also frowned upon last I checked.
What does your god say about torment and persecution?
How does it affect you in any way if a person is gay or not?
WWJD?
When did compassion make it's exit from Christianity?
When did it become your job to judge?
Who empowered you to be the authority on what god meant?
Why can't we acknowledge that the human's who wrote the bible texts may have been fallible/biased/ignorant?
Why can't you just let people live their own lives, not hurting anyone, falling in love with who they fall in love with and let them have their day of judgment (if that exists as you say it does) with your god (if he exists as you say he does)?
Do you believe that he is incapable of handling his judicial position? Why do feel he needs your assistance with judgment here?
Why can't you acknowledge that the fact that you believe something doesn't make it a universal truth for everyone?
Why does a legal document in a country that boasts religious freedom have to conform to the specific definition of marriage as defined by a particular religion?
Why can't a person get married in their accepting faith and have it honored by the government, and if the Christian (or any other religion) church doesn't honor it, so be it?

The Sy Rogers Story

2010-10-01T18:01:00.009+10:00

THE SY ROGERS STORY
(An Anthony Venn-Brown Perspective)

Sy Rogers is a gifted communicator and has an amazing story of redemption and the grace of God. Our dialogue has been limited but has always been gracious and respectful. I’d heard many negative things about Sy but our meeting in Sydney in 2007 dispelled many of these.

When Sy was converted in the late 70’s, even though homosexuality had been removed from the list of psychological disorders and laws were changing that had classed gay men as criminals, there was still a great deal of ignorance about sexual orientation. This was particularly so in the church. I was converted in 1969 when the concept of a gay Christian was inconceivable and my life was understandably steered in a particular direction. Even when I resigned from the ministry in 1991, I was only aware of two options. 1. Try and be heterosexual and you’ll get to heaven (which hadn’t worked for the previous 22 years) or 2. Accept your homosexuality and you will go to hell.

Was I receiving Christ today I hope that my pastor would be well informed and help me to see that my morality is a choice but my sexual orientation isn’t and that I could lead a life that honoured God as a gay young man. Today there are many fine gay Christians and a growing number of churches which welcome and affirm them.

There are still many who speak of Sy as an ‘ex-gay’ and that he preaches a re-orientation message. I don’t believe Sy would use that term to describe himself or believes that people need to be ‘healed’ of their homosexuality. His message these days is healing for all both gay and straight; a person’s sexual orientation is not the issue. I trust that these insights help dispel some of the confusion and bring a more balanced view of Sy’s ministry.

The Complexities of the Sy Rogers Story

1. Homosexuality vs trangenderism

To listen, in length, to the Sy story is to realise that it is not a simple story of gay man becomes straight. Firstly, Sy is transgender which occurs in the womb and remains with a person throughout life. If you are well informed about sexual orientation and what it means to be transgender, then you will be aware that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different wiring systems in the brain. For example, some transgender men are sexually attracted to women and some to men. This is often confusing for heterosexuals to understand as their brains are aligned harmoniously with their gender identity.Sy lived as a woman for some time and was in the process of seeking gender re-assignment surgery when he was converted to Christ. Throw into his story years of sexual abuse, a self destructive lifestyle (not an exclusively homosexual experience), meaningless sexual encounters and a dysfunctional family upbringing (mother was an alcoholic) then it becomes a maze of issues. The sexual abuse issues are the ones Sy has most recently had to resolve. Probably the miracle in Sy’s Rogers story is similar to mine: we are still alive to tell the story.Problems develop when Sy speaks to church audiences who are relatively uneducated about sexuality and transgenderism. I’m sure there are still are large number of people in churches who naively believe all homosexual men want to dress and live as a woman and all lesbians wish they could be men. This is far from reality for the average gay man or lesbian. When uninformed Christians, with an already negative attitude towards homosexuality, hear Sy’s story, it’s easy for them to make false assumptions.

2. Terminology

Different terms appear in Sy’s story, homosexual, gay, transsexual, transgender, all mixed together and are hard for the average person to separate. One of the myths often presented in many church cultures is that ALL gay men and lesbians are highly immoral, drug taking reprobates who live a ‘homosexual lifestyle’. Sy’s story carries much of that stereotype which, for those of us who are a part of the gay community(as opposed to the ‘gay scene’), know is only reflective of a subculture and once again not exclusively homosexual. Heterosexuals live the same ‘lifestyle’.

3. Does Marriage = Heterosexual?

My assumption is that Sy would not actually claim that he is totally heterosexual today, but, because he is married to a woman, many would try and tell us that this indicates a change in sexual orientation. “Heterosexual functionality’ is not being heterosexual any many more than heterosexual men engaging in same sex activity in prison makes them homosexual. I’ve never met an ‘ex-gay’ who can honestly say their orientation, instincts, fantasies and desires are now heterosexual. In other words, that they think and function like normal heterosexual men. I was also married to a woman for 16 years and fathered children but it didn’t make me straight. You can change behaviours, control thoughts, resist temptations and lessen same sex opportunities but you can’t change inbuilt orientation. There is a substantial amount of scientific research that demonstrates this. Sy has chosen to be in a heterosexual marriage. I have to respect Sy and his wife’s choice and anyone else who chooses to live that way.

Personally, at the age of 40, I could no longer live with the inconsistency of presenting one thing to those around me and being another person inside. It was unsustainable and the disconnect created unhealthy behaviours and mental health issues. (For a detailed article on this go to 'Situational Heterosexuality')

The Ambiguities

To assume that Sy is an ‘ex-gay’ and that he believes all gay men and lesbians must become heterosexual raises several ambiguities.

1. Ambiguity No. 1. Sy has not been on the board of Exodus for quite some time. Possibly not actively involved at a board level for 15 years. He has spoken at some Exodus conferences though. He is last mentioned on the history page of their website in 1996.

2. Ambiguity No. 2. The Sy Rogers website makes no mention of homosexuality or ex-gay ministries.

3. Ambiguity No. 3. The Choices ex-gay ministry established by Sy (I believe), at the Singaporean Church of Our Saviour in 1991 still exists, but Sy is no longer involved and his name is not mentioned on records of it’s history.

4. Ambiguity No. 4. Sitting in the Sense and Sexuality Seminar at Hillsong in 2007, Sy spoke about purity of thought life, addictions, sexual abuse and wholeness without ever identifying heterosexuality as being more wholesome than homosexuality. From memory, I can’t really remember the word homosexual being used at the seminar. (Although he did mention those words of course when he told his story at the Sunday services). At the Sense & Sexuality Seminar, he spoke only of living a life that is pleasing to God and healthy for the individual. Was that because I’d been sitting with him in the front row of the church? I tend to think not.

What about all the books, tapes and videos?

There are still Sy Rogers videos and publications out there which tell a different story and people promote him as an ‘ex-gay’. It’s been over two decades now since some of that original material was created and during that time there has been much scientific research on the subject of sexual orientation. It’s unfortunate that some of these resources are being used to promote a falsehood that God miraculously makes gay people straight. Sadly some Christians have used these materials to push their own agenda which has resulted in untold suffering and even suicides. I’m currently working with a 40 year old man who has been involved in Exodus here in Australia for 20 years. His words to me tell it all. ‘I was sold a very cruel lie’. One his wife and children are currently trying to painfully unravel.

Finally, I do wonder, considering the recent growth of the GLBT Christian movement and that many more churches have become welcoming of GLBT people, that if Sy had been converted today instead of three decades ago, if his journey might have been a very different one.

If you’d like to read more about the changes in the Christian world’s attitude towards and thinking about homosexuality, you can read this article on my blog. Celebrating Our Future – the times, they are a changin’. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. info@anthonyvennbrown.com

The Struggler's Prayer (revisited by an ex-gay survivor)

2010-08-04T21:20:00.006+10:00

A Struggler's Prayer

by Paul, June 2010

(A man struggling to overcome his unwanted same sex attraction (SSA) through prayer and Christian ex-gay programs)

God, please show me how to accept my past and be hopeful about my future.

Show me how to be more accepting of the gift of masculinity that you have given me, and give me the courage to always use my masculinity with the God-given purpose that you designed it for.

Show me how to welcome the power of masculinity.

I release my father and mother from responsibility for who I am today and I truly accept full responsibility for my life as a man.

Show me how to love and respect my father and mother.

Assist me to only respect and admire other men for their strengths, qualities and for who they are as men, for as I do this, I will be shown how I am even more like them, and have even more in common with them.

Show me how to see myself as you do, equal to other men.

Show me how I can assist other men to be true to their God-given masculinity.

I pray that you will deliver to me opportunities to demonstrate my masculinity, according to your true purpose for me, and also to help other men do the same.

Give me the courage to form lasting meaningful friendships with other men that allow my masculinity to develop further.

Assist me to be respectful of my body and mind, and to ensure that I can deliver for you through my masculinity, the purpose that you have designed for me.

I release my thoughts, feelings, desires and actions as a man into your hands, only then will I be able to use fully the nature of my masculinity that you have given me.

Allow me to see, completely and truthfully, the full masculine gifts that you have given me, and help me to see myself through your loving eyes.

I know to trust you,

I accept my God-given masculinity in your name, and with your guidance, and my faith in you, I will become the man that you have destined me to be.

The Struggler's Prayer (revisited by an ex-gay survivor)

By Anthony Venn-Brown

God, I thank you that I can accept my past and look to the future with hope and faith.

Thank you for showing me how to accept and embrace the uniqueness you gave me, and empowering me to always use this gift for it’s true purpose.......to show your awesome creativity. I find it amazing that no matter how many billions of people there are on this planet there will never be another person like me.

Show me how to live in the power of my uniqueness and to use all the gifts you have given me, including my sexual orientation, in honourable ways. It is by being who you created me to be that I give you the greatest honour and find the greatest freedom.

I forgive all those who have wronged me in the past and will work towards finding the gift hidden in difficult experiences ……and then embrace it. Help me to accept full responsibility for my life and not blame others. For you have shown me that my background and circumstances may have influenced who I am, but I am responsible for who I become.

Show me how to love and respect others as you have shown me to love and respect myself.

Assist me to respect and admire other people for all they are as people, for as I do this, I will be shown how I am even more like them; a human being on a journey of discovery.

Show me how to see myself as you do, equal to other people...not greater.....not lesser.... but that we are all one.

Show me how I can assist other people to be true to their God-given uniqueness .....and that as I shine my unique light, I encourage others to do the same. In your strength I resist the pressure to conform to the image others believe I should be and will not allow them to snuff out your divine gift.

I pray that you will deliver to me opportunities to demonstrate my authenticity, according to your true purpose for me.

Give me the courage to form lasting meaningful friendships with others that allow my authenticity to develop further.

Assist me to be respectful of my body and mind, and to ensure that I can deliver for you through my humanity, the purpose that you have designed for me.

I release my thoughts, feelings, desires and actions as a human being into your hands, only then will I be able to use fully the beautiful gift of life and uniqueness that you have given me.

Allow me to see, completely and truthfully, the gifts that you have given me, and help me to see myself through your loving eyes. Deliver me from all self loathing, for to hate myself is to hate your wonderful creation.

I know to trust you,

I accept my God-given uniqueness in your name, and with your guidance, and my faith in you, I will become the free and authentic person that you have destined me to be. I am a man, I am gay, and I am blessed.

More information for strugglers here

Is my strategy working?

2010-07-02T02:21:00.008+10:00

For the last 10 years I’ve had a strategy. Possibly it’s working.

Many of you will know that one of my goals is to work towards the day when ex-gay style ministries eventually cease to exist in Australia. My firm belief is that the enemy we must fight against is ignorance. Ex-gay ministries are run by well intentioned people that attract people tortured by the perceived conflict between their faith and sexuality. So the fundamental problem is not people; it is ignorance about sexual orientation and the historical and cultural contexts of half a dozen bible verses. If we attack the real enemy, ignorance, then eventually ‘ex-gay’ ministries will have no referrals or inquires. It’s like we have killed the tree at the roots. Maybe here in Australia we are closer to that than we realise. (see below)

Contexts of ignorance:

Religious. For a whole variety of reasons (which I cover in the first session of my seminar) people in churches and religious cultures have not had access or are resistant to new information.
Generational. A 2004 study Mapping Homophobia in Australia showed that older Australians are considerably more homophobic than young adults. I don’t have the data on this but my perception is that in Australia the majority of people contacting ‘ex-gay’ ministries for help are of an older, less informed generation. Most of the people I work with who are sorting this out are around mid-life and older. On our Freedom 2 b[e] forum we have a young preacher’s kid who, even though his parents don’t understand, has come to self acceptance at the age of 16. Scott- 18 and openly gay Christian, Ben, who has come out at Hillsong at the age of 20 and was supported by pastors in the church. These young people are sorting out in their mid to late teens what many of us took decades to sort out.
Educational. 25 per cent of those with tertiary education hold homophobic views compared to 40-50 per cent among those who did not complete high school
Gender. Perceptions about homosexuality are influenced by gender. Once again, in Australia, 43% of men view homosexuality as immoral compared to only 27% of women. I think we can blame testosterone for that.

My strategy has been to:

Tell my story
Educate and inform
Encourage former ex-gays to tell their story
Encourage former ex-gay leaders to tell their stories and apologise
Encourage gay and mainstream media attention
Create dialogues with those who are questioning
Create spaces on the internet where people can access honest and realistic information.
Encourage research. I now know of at least 10 individuals who are either doing their Honours or PhD’s in the area of faith and sexuality; a couple focusing specifically on the ‘ex-gay’ experience. We are developing a collective of these researchers. Soon we will have the qualitative data.

….and I think it might be working.

Here is an extract from a recent newsletter of an ‘ex-gay’ ministry in Sydney, Living Waters.

‘There has been a real shift in society lately. We have detected this through responses to Living Waters offerings, we cancelled a conference recently because only a handful of registered. This year we have fewer Living Waters groups and fewer people in those groups. Our leadership training week at Collaroy appears to be hugely undersubscribed’

The next paragraph begins……’we are not discouraged’………but I was greatly encouraged as it seems my strategy might be having an impact.

Whilst some ex-gay ministries in Australia might seek to expand.....doesn't necessarily mean they can or will. It’s becoming an increasingly irrelevant message. Let me give you a brief history.

What created this ‘ex-gay’ phenomenon?

‘Ex-gay’ ministries spawned in the 70’s out of a cultural and societal foundation that believed homosexuality was a crime and mental illness within the context of fundamental churches who believed it was a sin not an orientation. I lived for six months in an ‘ex-gay’ rehabilitation centre in Sydney in the early 70’s before Exodus commenced in the US in 1976. That ministry died years ago. But in the context of a strong religious culture in the US ‘ex-gay’ ministries flourished more than in any other part of the world. Once they began to grown in the US others in this country tried to duplicate the same impact. This has always been unsuccessful and only a shadow of their US cousins.

How the ‘ex-gay’ message has evolved

Phase 1 began in the 70's, when ‘ex-gay’ ministries commenced, they offered a miraculous cure from homosexuality to heterosexuality. It became evident pretty quickly that God did no such thing no matter how much prayer, how anointed the ministry, how many fasts, how many demons were cast out. Emotional changes may have happened to some but orientation remained the same. Many made claims of healing only to eventually realise that prayer doesn't make the gay go away.

Phase 2 introduced various forms of therapy that were based on now defunct theories about the causes of homosexuality such as a dominant mother and emotionally distant father and also sexual abuse as the reason people turn our gay or lesbian. Mental health professionals moved on but the Christian ministries didn’t. Prayer, inner healing, masculinising men and feminising women, same sex ‘healthy’ bonding etc etc promised that eventually the same sex attraction would diminish and a person’s ‘true’ heterosexuality would come to the surface. Then the person could marry or getting married along the journey would be a part of their healing. Destroyed marriages and lives have been the result along with mental health issues and the most tragic of all….suicide.

Phase 3 has been the acknowledgement that possibly the gay will never go away (stated on the Liberty Christian Ministries website) and that the person will spend their lives ‘struggling’ even if they enter a heterosexual marriage.

Another option that has more recently been proposed is suppressing ones same sex attraction and choosing celibacy. This is not a healthy acceptance of one’s sexuality as we know it but is more about denial and self hatred. The latter is unhealthy for a person’s emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. For the ‘ex-gay’ there is no release or the sense of empowerment that we have experienced but a constant sense of shame and condemnation. A life of celibacy is for them, a sentence inflicted because of a fallen creation. They are still sick….still broken.

5 Reasons why ‘ex-gay’ ministries have changed their message over four decades?

Too many failures……even the supposed ‘success’ stories getting caught out.
Claims of genuine change have never been able to be verified scientifically.
The emergence of the Gay Christian movement (the Rainbow Revival) where gay and lesbian people of faith have come out.
Former ‘ex-gays’ telling their stories of how damaging the time in ‘therapy’ was and that they found peace and resolution through acceptance of self not rejection.
Ex-gay leaders apologising for their previous ignorance about sexual orientation and the damage that may have caused people in the past.

It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the amazing work of being watchdogs, monitoring activities and holding ‘ex-gay’ ministries accountable by my friends and colleagues at www.beyondexgay.com, www.exgaywatch.com, www.boxturtlebulletin.com, www.truthwinsout.org and Jallen Rix who has just released a wonderful new book called Ex-Gay- No Way . Love your work guys and girls!

Here is my latest attempt to overcome ignorance…..another website.

What to help in me fight against ignorance? Click on this link?

Oooops…..we meant you to cure them .....not kill them

2010-06-04T00:16:00.011+10:00

Have you been following the news about Uganda's Anti-homosexual Bill, currently being pushed through their parliament? If not, just Google Uganda Anti-homosexual Bill and you'll get 265,000 pages….and growing daily as the world becomes aware of this backward step in Human Rights.

Background

Uganda is a very Christian country. It has been described as an “island of Christendom in a sea of Islam.” According to statistics, Ugandans are 84 percent Christian (42 percent Protestant and 41.9 percent Roman Catholic). Many Christian ministers preach against homosexuality. A July 2009 poll found 95 percent Ugandans opposed to legalizing homosexuality.

The current law allows authorities to imprison suspected homosexuals and AIDS patients for up to 14 years. The new legislation, which has been dubbed the Anti-homosexual Bill, could make the prison term a life sentence. The practice of "aggravated homosexuality" would allow the authorities to sentence homosexuals to death. Members of the public would be required to report acts of homosexuality within 24 hours. If they fail to do so, they could also be imprisoned for a minimum of three years. It has also been stated that Uganda would be prepared to cut ties with other countries and stop any commitments they have with them to allow the new laws to be enforced.

How can such regressive legislation even be introduced?

Firstly it should be noted that colonialism has a lot to answer for. Outdated laws established by the empire builders still exist in many countries years after their independence was gained. One of those laws is the so called 'sodomy laws' which made any sex (heterosexual or homosexual), except for procreation, illegal and punishable by imprisonment or death. In many parts of the world such as the pacific, India, Caribbean, Bahamas, Jamaica and of course many parts of Africa, laws from the colonial/Victorian era still exist forcing gay and lesbian people to live closeted lives of fear. Australia was the last country in the British Empire to hang a man for a homosexual act (1839). But it wasn’t till 1997 that the oppressive, discriminatory law was totally removed from Australia’s legal system.

Secondly, we know of anti-gay promotion by some 'ex-gay' leaders and evangelical preachers which has reinforced already negative beliefs and attitudes about gay and lesbian people in Africa. Preachers and leaders from the US have intentionally visited Uganda and other African countries to speak specifically on homosexuality. Their message? Homosexuals are sick, it is a choice and they need to repent so God can cure them. Outrageous and sensationalist claims of conspiracy theories and recruiting young people abound. Funding and materials from US preachers and Christian organisations have been donated to promote this message. Ugandan preachers have taken up the message with a furious intensity; the Rev Martin Ssempa being one of the most outspoken and outrageous. I won’t put a link to his blog here as I’m sure the increased traffic and exposure he is receiving, already gives him great enjoyment. You will see his sensationalist and fear-mongering statements in the documentary below.

So there we have it. If people continue to preach messages promoting outdated, ignorant beliefs about sexuality, this is how far they can be pushed…..back into the dark ages.

Western Christianity Cries STOP!

In the US, some faith leaders, realising how damaging their message can be, have issued statements and warnings about the proposed Ugandan legislation currently backed by many Ugandan Christian groups.

Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International issued this statement which includes ‘First, we believe that sexual crimes against children, homosexual or heterosexual, are the most serious of offenses and should be punished accordingly. Homosexual behaviour in consensual relationships, however, is another matter’. Of course this probably carries little weight when Alan, Randy Thomas and others sign the statement as 'former homosexuals'. There is no such thing. Read "Situational Heterosexuality" - the most misunderstood concept in the ‘ex-gay’ and Christian worlds.

Well known author and preacher, Ps Rick Warren, issued this video He told the Ugandan pastors that the bill was "unjust, extreme and un-Christian toward homosexuals." The bill's requirement that Ugandans report any meeting with homosexuals to authorities, he said, would hinder the ministry of the church and force homosexuals who are HIV positive underground. He added, "I oppose the criminalization of homosexuality."

Pentecostal preacher Joyce Meyer issued a statement saying “It is increasingly evident that the proposed “Anti-Homosexuality Bill” introduced in the Ugandan parliament is a profoundly offensive, dangerous and disturbing attack on the very foundation of individual liberties and human rights afforded not only to the good citizens of Uganda, but on the at-large global community.

A Ugandan Declaration has been set up for people of faith, who believe it is time to apply human rights to everyone and work to eliminate imprisonment, execution and persecution of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people.

In the UK, The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has made his first public statement on the proposed anti-gay bill passing through Uganda's parliament stating "Overall, the proposed legislation is of shocking severity and I can’t see how it could be supported by any Anglican who is committed to what the Communion has said in recent decades. Apart from invoking the death penalty, it makes pastoral care impossible – it seeks to turn pastors into informers.”

Unlike Pentecostals in Africa and other countries, in Australia Ps Rob Buckingham of Bayside Church, Melbourne has welcomed and accepted LGBT people. His response to the Ugandan legislation and message to the church has been: This legislation is the result of the teaching of “unchristian” Christians and clearly shows that the only thing we learn from history is that we learn very little from history. I’m thrilled that Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren have spoken out so clearly. I’m very aware that my voice is in no way as loud as theirs, but that is no reason to remain silent.

The Bible says, “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself,’ you are doing right. But if you show favouritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” This Bill flies in the face of the Royal Law and favours straight people over gay. This legislation breaks God’s Law and no Christian should support it.

Even the Vatican, which does not have a good record of tolerance or acceptance of homosexual people at an official level, has said “The Holy See continues to oppose all grave violations of human rights against homosexual persons, such as the use of the death penalty, torture and other cruel, inhuman and degrading punishment. The Holy See also opposes all forms of violence and unjust discrimination against homosexual persons, including discriminatory penal legislation which undermines the inherent dignity of the human person.”

One wonders whether this is all too late now the horse has bolted. Some Ugandan Christians already believe that God has called them to take a stand on the issue homosexuality and turn the tide of what they see as western ‘moral decay’. If this bill is passed, and gay and lesbian people are imprisoned or die we know who the guilty ones are…..and silence is complicity.

It's time for those lagging behind in the western Christian church, to wake up and realise that homosexuality is not an illness, choice or sin; it's an orientation. There was a time when believing such concepts may have been excusable but to preach such things today is not only ignorant, it's dangerous.

See the Documentary Missionaries of Hate here

If you want to add your voice or be involved in creating awareness about this issue please email me anthony@anthonyvennbrown.com

What are we doing for LGBT people of faith and religion?

2010-04-13T17:58:00.011+10:00

Since 2004, when my autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning' was released, I have been privileged to be the first contact point for 1,000's of LGBT people from faith and religious backgrounds; especially those experiencing faith/sexuality conflict within strongly biblically based contexts. It’s a like my inbox has become a microscope into a hidden world as many isolated and alienated people have found someone they relate to; often for the first time. Common themes have emerged from the many emails I’ve received, listening to individual stories and from the stories posted on the Freedom 2 b[e] forum. Telling Our Stories

LGBT people of faith and religion are an emerging group whose specific needs have not always been identified or catered for. As this group begins to connect with the LGBT community and services, community workers and service providers need awareness training to work more effectively with the target group. Funding is required to set up programs that will meet their needs.

To date I’ve not been able to find quantitative data on this target group only anecdotal. Some research highlights individual aspects but doesn’t cover all these areas listed below adequately. Therefore I’m creating awareness in the academic world and the LGBT community of the need for research about this specific issue and demographic and also seeking any reliable data you may know of.

BACKGROUND OBSERVATIONS:

LGBT people from faith and religious backgrounds experience the usual issues of resolution, coming out, finding their place in the community and learning what it means to be gay or lesbian in a predominately straight world. They often however, experience these things with greater intensity and have additional issues to deal with.

Even after coming out, internalised homophobia from years of negative conditioning and self-hatred can continue to have an impact.
Most have invested years attempting to conform to heterosexuality through personal secret attempts, opposite sex relationships and formal (‘ex-gay’) programs which has left them damaged and traumatised.
Having a belief system that says your eternal destiny hinges in your acceptance/rejection of your same- sex-orientation or gender identity, creates a cognitive dissonance that is difficult to resolve without information and connection with others who have walked the same journey.
For most people from faith backgrounds, accepting that you are gay or lesbian means you have to leave the church and your entire social network is lost. It was a strong network, often like family and your life was filled with church activities and service. Finding a new life of meaning, your place in the LGBT community (with a very different set of values) and like minded-people is often difficult.

Although beliefs systems are different, people from strong Christian, Islamic or Jewish backgrounds face similar issues.

PERSONAL CONCLUSIONS:

Considering all these factors, my belief is that, LGBT people from faith and religious backgrounds are possibly one of the highest risk groups of:

1. Potential and real suicidality. The larger proportion of the emails mentions either thoughts of, or attempts to suicide.

2. Mental health issues. The dissonance cause by the perceived conflict of faith and sexuality causes stress and depression.

3. Self destructive behaviours. When people are rejected from, or leave their religious backgrounds, they are left with strong feelings of failure and shame. Poor self-image leads to unhealthy behaviours. Some believe they will go to hell for accepting their homosexuality and this belief plays out in high risk activities – a slow form of suicide.

4. Obsessive behaviours and addictions. It’s not uncommon for someone who has suppressed or denied their sexual orientation to develop unhealthy behaviours which get out of control.

5. HIV & STI infection. Most people from church backgrounds don’t have access to safe-sex education and therefore, if sexually active, are at higher risk.

6. Discrimination. LGBT people of faith can often experience discrimination not only from their religious community but also at times from within their own LGBT community.

Information/feedback always welcome.

If you are researching in this specific area I'd like to hear from you. We have also developed a research collective in this are you might be interested in. Email directly at anthony (at) anthonyvennbrown.com

Anthony Venn-Brown

Coach, LGBT Consultant, Speaker and Author of 'A Life of Unlearning - A Journey to Find the Truth'

Co-founder of Freedom 2 b[e]

Honoured to be on the 2007 & 2009 lists of the 25 Most Influential Gay & Lesbian Australians

anthony@anthonyvennbrown.com