8. The midlife factor
Alan turned 40 in 2012.
Randy four years earlier. Midlife transition can hit anywhere between 35-45
depending a numerous factors. It was around this time that Alan began
expressing new levels on honesty and facing huge challenges with Exodus. Whilst
midlife transition would not have be major factor in the decision to close
Exodus that certainly would have had some impact. Younger or older men would
have reacted differently.
Like Alan and Randy, I know what it was like to have to kill your
baby. I was abandoned by the leaders of my denomination to kill my baby, the
ministry I'd invested years of blood, sweat and tears building. It was
devastating. So where are these men now?
Re-inventing themselves. From my experience, it can take several years before
you find that complete centeredness again and that you feel like you are on
track/on purpose. You can see what Alan and Leslie are up to here.
Randy's blog is here.
Maybe a good way to finish this story of is with quote from Alan's
blog. It's his reflection of what happened twelve months ago sitting in a
basement surrounded/confronted by hurting, angry ex-gay survivors and his
reactions at that moment would change the entire homosexuality/Christianity
debate forever. It's called An Unlikely Love
"The words used to
describe us in the last year could fill volumes. Hitler. Hero. Traitor.
Antinomian. Hypocrite. Hater. Lover. Good. Kind. Evil. Brave. Pretty much every
good and bad name you can think of has been awarded to us. From any vantage
point, Leslie and I have been marginalized. For years we have been marginalized
by society for our belief that God’s creative intent for sexual expression is
one man married to one woman for one lifetime. Now in our efforts to simply and
wholly love and serve people, we have been marginalized by the mainstream
Christian Church who once hailed our story as miraculous. We are now an embarrassment
to many and I’m not always exactly sure why. Ironically, it is now the LGBT community who respect our complex story
and are increasingly accepting us for who we are: unlikely friends" .
If you would like to receive a PDF of the complete article click on this email address info@gayambassador.com and hit send.
Or read the 8 Factors that Created the Tipping Point separately.
No.1 The Society Shift Factor
No.2 The Gulf Factor
No.3 The Internet Factor
No.4 The Honesty Factor
No.5 The Bridge Building Factor
No.6 The Listening Factor
No.7 The Evolving Faith Factor
No.8 The Midlife Factor
Copyright
© Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom2b, Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award. He is also the founder and CEO of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International.
Thanks, this 8 part series brings intriguing and useful analysis to the subject. My only 'complaint' is that IMO it is too complimentary about Chambers, who has said some really hateful things over the years...and to this day ultimately remains unaccepting of homosexuality, on 'religious' grounds, and IMO remains, whatever his warm personal relations with you, a potentially dangerous force. But overall, kudos about this series.
ReplyDeletethanks Anon.....I'm glad to know that you found this article on the helpful. I'm not sure if you have read the beginning of this as well. You might find that useful as well. http://gayambassador.blogspot.com.au/2014/08/exodus-international-closes-behind-the-scenes-No1.html
DeleteThere is also the interview with Alan Chambers. here http://gayambassador.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/interview-alan-chambers-at-final-exodus-conference.html
DeleteI get what you are saying about Alan Chambers. I knew this would come up for people when I was writing. Having met the man and communicated with him over a couple of years I guess has made me feel a little different. Meeting with someone face to face can change ones perception ......as I'm sure you may have experienced yourself. Its been a journey for Alan to come to this place and or course that journey is not over. Thanks for sharing graciously though. Others have not made the same effort
DeleteTo me Chambers has only moved halfway toward the truth, and there is no evidence he will move any further. IMO it is the MANY "exgay" activists who have fully and bravely recanted are those that deserve our kudos and attention. What's keeping Chambers from going all the way?
ReplyDeleteThe 'midlife factor' is a good partial explanation. Notwithstanding, some like Andrew Comiskey and David Kyle Foster, who are staring at old age, are more entrenched than ever. Sad...there's no fool like an old fool, as the saying goes. I'm struck by how both those men, in their late 50s, both look 20 years older! Maybe it's from all that self hate corroding them from the inside.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next posting at this provocative blog. I, for one, would be interested in any developments in Australia. Hopefully 'exgay' flimflam continues toward extinction. Craig in USA.
ReplyDeletehi Craig....this 2012 post will give you the answer. Since I wrote that the largest and oldest ex-gay organization Living Waters has closed down as well. Not much left ...or doing a great deal...but they still exist http://gayambassador.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/two-thirds-of-ex-gay-ministries.html
Delete