Whilst the fundamental beliefs (homosexuality is a flawed, unnatural human experience, a choice, a sin, and it can be changed) remain the same, many things within the ex-gay world have changed over the last four decades since its formal existence (Exodus founded 1976). The most dramatic of these being the recent rejection of the reparative therapy model.
A
more subtle and often unnoticed change has been the wording and terminology that is used.
For
the first twenty or so years, ex-gays and attempting ex-gays used terms like 'freedom
from homosexuality', 'struggling with homosexuality' or having a 'homosexual
problem'. It was not uncommon for people to label themselves 'former homosexuals'. It is difficult to pin point exactly when the shift in terminology
happened or who introduced it but around the mid to late 90's the
term 'unwanted same sex attraction' became the vernacular. Hence you will hear
people describe themselves as 'struggling with unwanted same sex attraction',
'suffering from unwanted same sex attraction' or 'overcoming same sex
attraction'.
Why the change in terminology?
There
were several reasons for the change.
Firstly, Christian men and
women who were same sex oriented didn't want to use the term homosexual, let
alone adopt the identity. This shift had already happened within the lesbian,
gay and bisexual worlds many years before as there were too many negative connotations
attached to the word homosexual. The word homosexual these days is mostly used
in a clinical/academic sense (homosexual/heterosexual) or by religious anti-gay
groups and people who refuse to use the term 'gay'. For people wanting to rid themselves of their
homosexuality the term unwanted same-sex-attraction was nicer/softer.
Secondly, using the phrase 'same
sex attraction' was a way of distancing themselves from the term 'same sex
orientation' that was becoming popular in academia. A sexual orientation (same,
opposite or bi) is far more fundamental/innate than an attraction. Having
unwanted same sex attractions could be perceived as being more about feelings, thoughts
or emotions than behaviour or who you are oriented to fall in love with. The
term same sex attraction is often used in academia these days, particularly
with youth. The acronym LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) had a Q
added to it. This often referred to the
inclusive word 'queer' but was also used for 'questioning', meaning young
people still trying to sort out their identity and not able or willing to take
on a gay or lesbian identity at their stage in life.
Thirdly, an ex-gay philosophy often promoted is 'no one is gay, deep down inside we are all heterosexual. You have attractions to the same sex because you are broken' Using the term 'same sex attractions' once again is an attempt to distance themselves from the reality of their true orientation. I cover that in more detail here. Acronyms like SSA or USAA are used to sound clinical, like an illness such as MS or dysfunctional behaviour such as PTSD. People with 'unwanted same sex attraction' strongly resist adopting a gay identity, so acronyms like SSA or USSA is another way of distancing themsleves from that. Heterosexuals don't walk around talking about their OSA or there unwanted opposite sex attraction (UOSA).
Thirdly, an ex-gay philosophy often promoted is 'no one is gay, deep down inside we are all heterosexual. You have attractions to the same sex because you are broken' Using the term 'same sex attractions' once again is an attempt to distance themselves from the reality of their true orientation. I cover that in more detail here. Acronyms like SSA or USAA are used to sound clinical, like an illness such as MS or dysfunctional behaviour such as PTSD. People with 'unwanted same sex attraction' strongly resist adopting a gay identity, so acronyms like SSA or USSA is another way of distancing themsleves from that. Heterosexuals don't walk around talking about their OSA or there unwanted opposite sex attraction (UOSA).
Finally, the change to 'unwanted
same sex attraction', was a way for ex-gay organisations to have the pressure
taken off them from pro-gay groups. In other words they could say 'but we
only work with people who have 'unwanted'
same sex attractions'. They would never say it is okay to be a Cnristian and gay, however, because then their message to the 'unwanted's' becomes redundant.
More
recently, terms like 'sexual brokenness' or 'relational brokenness' are used to
describe the same thing. If you do an analysis of 'ex-gay' stories,
particularly the high profile ones, you find common
elements. They ARE
broken. They always include stories of sexual abuse, sexual addictions/obsessions
and screwed up childhoods and relationships. What they fail to see is that
their brokenness is not caused by their sexual orientation itself but their
response to it including self-hatred, denial, suppression, fear, secrecy and unhealthy
behaviours. No wonder they end up in such a mess.
The
term 'unwanted same sex attractions' is also being used these days on Islamic
websites and forums.
Why is the same sex attraction 'unwanted'?
This is the big question but pretty obvious when you think about it.
- If you are locked in a Christian culture that is ignorant about sexual orientation then it is most likely 'unwanted'.
- If you have heard ill-informed sermons or messages that Sodom and Gomorrah were full of homosexuals and that God condemns it, then it would be 'unwanted'.
- If you think that the acceptance or rejection of your sexual orientation has eternal consequences (heaven or hell) then it would be 'unwanted'.
- If you think that coming out or accepting your same sex orientation will mean your family, friends or church would reject you it would be 'unwanted'.
- If you have only heard 'stories' about people who have 'overcome' their unwanted same sex attractions and are now married with children then it would be 'unwanted'.
- If you have never met a well adjusted, fulfilled gay man or women or never heard anything positive about the LGBT community then it would be 'unwanted'
If
you want to know why the unwanted same sex attraction message is no longer
relevant you can read this article. 'Spiritual
Gays' ......an oxymoron?
Peter
Janetzki, on the Brisbane Christian radio station 96.5 FM, talked with Paul
Wegner from Liberty Inc about unwanted
same sex attraction. I think this ten minute snippet from the two hour show
will give you some idea about how defensive people have become about the term
'unwanted same sex attraction'. Maybe one of the reasons they were so defensive
was because of this.
© Anthony Venn-Brown
Twitter: @gayambassador
Website: www.gayambassador.com
Email: info@gayambassador.com
Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom2b, Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award. He is also the founder and director of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International.
I think you are right Anthony. I remember the use of the term 'Same Sex Attraction' while I was in the 'Choices' programme back in 1995 - 1997. It was usually shortened to SSA and it did feel like a very clinical word. I agree that it was used as an alternative term rather than identify as gay as of course the programme denied there was any such thing. I think the other reason it has become popular was that it is a useful term to sound like a psychopathology. The concept that homosexuality is a mental illness which can be cured and so the use of terms like SSA made sense within the worldview of ex-gay programmes. I've always felt that was the most destructive of the ex-gay messages, ie teaching that one is mentally ill and to not trust your feelings or instincts. It pathologised not just one's thinking but by extension the person.
ReplyDeletethe acronym SSA is really quite strange isn't it.
ReplyDeleteSSA....clinical.....distancing....an illness like MS or PTSD.....not to do with an orientation. You don't get heterosexuals walking around talkiing about their OSA or there unwanted opposite sex attraction.
ReplyDeleteVery good point....The SSA label helps to desensitize and exacerbate denial of orientation. Not healthy :-(
Deleteyep it is saying I am not gay.....I wont acknowledge that part of me = denial
ReplyDeleteABOUT THE RECORDING:
ReplyDeleteThat recording is SO annoying... I guess it's Peter Janetzki? Condescending and rude to the caller. He keeps interrupting her and trying to derail her point. He then accuses HER of doing what HE is actually doing. It's weird! He only listens to find points to attack her on and is not actually engaging in ANY meaningful discussion. He only wishes to make his points and railroad her. Sort of a hit-and-run-then-steamroll style of interaction. What a massive, massive JERK. Seriously. Major jerk. And ignorant, to boot. Whether it's Janetzki or that other bloke, Wegner, both are very ill-educated. I researched their credentials. So, given their spectacularly weak educations and their Bible-literalist fundamentalism... well, one could not expect anything close to actual knowledge or sophistication. I feel for the lass who called those jerks.
thanks for your comments. I did wonder, coming from the other side of the debate< if it was just me who was reacting to Peter Janetski comments. I thought the female caller was respectful and genuine. She was just offering another point of view. Surely that wasn't out of line with a show such as this particularly on such a topic. One would expect that. I did feel that Peter was appearing incredibly defensive. More so than when I called in some years ago. I suspect that there is more to his reaction than was he was letting on. Possibly it is because of some direction they have had from the Christian Counsellors Association of Australia (CCAA) that Liberty Inc has had to change wording on their site.
Deletehere is what was stated in the December 2012 newsletter.
"Recently, we had the wind knocked out of our sails when CCAA
strongly requested Liberty Inc immediately take down our website as
they believe the wording on our website may offend some people
who may perceive the comments to be judgemental and harmful.
CCAA does not support “judgemental” advertising. The offending
words that needed to be changed were “recovering from”, and
“sexual brokenness” and “same-sex attraction”. As you will notice,
we have complied with their request. You’ll notice our new slogan
“to foster the freedom of relational and sexual wholeness …”.
All our brochures and advertising material have the slogan that we’ve
used for the last twenty years, so these will need to be updated as
well with the new wording. Our concern is that whilst we are happy
to comply to keep the unity of the Spirit, how sad if we are not able to
acknowledge our true position in Christ – that we are all broken and
only in and through Him do we have fullness. That’s been our story."
What rubbish. Those jackasses are in the business of telling people who are sexually different that they are broken. It is, to me, a monstrous and unforgivable message. It is a message that literally kills people... and they don't care. They don't believe it is destructive and they don't want to believe it. And honestly - look at their level of training. I had NO idea a person with just a bachelor's degree could call himself a "counselor." That's Wegner's training. Wow. I'm highly disappointed someone with such ill training can attain that kind of professional standing.
DeleteJanetzki has a master's, it appears. That's still very minimal training. In the U.S., people with master's degrees can be licensed therapists. But their training is so, so scant. I've supervised quite a few and found I had to do an awful lot of extra supervision. Frankly, I don't think people with only a master's degree should be able to be licensed therapists. This is not a prejudice; truly. It's based on many years working in psychology and supervising more therapists than I can count. Without fail, there is a huge difference between the master's degreed ones and the doctoral level therapists. And those with social work master's degrees are the worst, in my experience. It is of interest to me to note that is Janetzki's degree.
There are a couple of Ph.D.s and M.D.s who believe like these two, but they are extremely rare and have NO support from their professional bodies. All of the science is against them... reminds me of when the church imprisoned Galileo for saying that the earth is not the center of the universe. It didn't change reality of course; it simply showed that fundamentalist religion is just plain stupid when it comes to science.
thanks again for these comments and doing the additional research. What you say is disturbing enough. What I find even more frightening is the people who run ex-gay programs in Australia with no qualifications at all but only a personal experience. One here in Australia under their heading What Liberty does not do says " do not promise or practise therapy. Liberty is a support ministry and we recommend people seek professional help where appropriate;"
Deleteon the other hand their 2012 report states "• This year I met with approximately 10 individuals to discuss overcoming same-sex attraction. This has represented a very diverse variety of people. The age of those I have met with has ranged from 18 to 65 and most are single, with only a couple currently married.
Support/support groups? Not official therapy but I think many would view that as a form particularly those seeking help/support.